We know that fast food isn’t good for us. But some restaurants have simply gone overboard with the amount of fat, salt, calories, and carbs they’ve managed to pack into a meal. Below are the worst of the worst.
Breakfast of Caloric Champions: Denny’s Smoked Sausage Slam
This is the meal to eat if you like pig products: two eggs scrambled with chopped bacon, diced ham, and crumbled sausage, then topped with cheddar cheese. All rounded out with two strips of bacon, two sausage links, hash browns, and two fluffy buttermilk pancakes. The amount of sodium in this pile of pig garbage is enough to last you two days … if you don’t die of a heart attack first.
A better bet: Two eggs, bacon, and toast. It ain’t health food, but it won’t be a day’s worth of calories either.
Worst Thing You Can Eat with a Spoon: KFC Mashed Potato Bowl
The KFC bowl is for those who can’t be bothered with a plate. It’s a tub filled with mashed potatoes, layered with sweet corn, and “loaded” with pieces of fried chicken. To add insult to injury, they dump “home-style” gravy and cheese on top. I have a feeling this thing comes out in your toilet bowl looking the exact same way it went in.
A better bet: avoid KFC altogether.
Worst Meal in Tin Foil: Chipotle Barbacoa Super Burrito
The other day my coworkers and I went to Chipotle. It was all shits and giggles while we were eating—“hey, pass the guac!” “want some more chips?!”—but then about an hour later, things went terribly wrong. Our stomachs hurt. Our mouths puckered. I drank about a gallon of water but couldn’t seem to quench my thirst. The bathroom stunk.
I think it’s ironic that Chipotle sponsors a biking team. No athlete would ever eat there.
A better bet: Cut the monster in half and share it.
Money Well Spent: Carl’s Jr. Bacon Cheese Six Dollar Burger
A day’s worth of fat in one meal—not bad for six bucks. Of course, if you eat this, you probably shouldn’t eat anything for the rest of the day.
A better bet: A regular Carl’s hamburger.
Worst Italian Offense: Pizza Hut Meat Lover’s Personal Pan Pizza
The “personal” in this title makes one assume you’re supposed to eat the whole thing yourself. And then you do. And people wonder why we have an obesity epidemic.
A better bet: Veggie Lover’s—it’s “only” 560 calories.
Just Wrong, Mate: Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries
Are the Aussies trying to mock us by giving us something they know we could never possibly work off in one day? Even if you split this monster of a fat bomb with three friends—it’s still just a side dish, and you’d still be packing away almost one thousand calories each. That’d take about two hours of kangaroo chasing in the outback just to burn off. Problem is, we ain’t got no outback in the US of A.
A better bet: Share the cheese fries with ten people instead.
Worst Dessert: Outback’s Chocolate Thunder from Down Under
I don’t mean to pick on Outback (who now no longer posts their nutritional information), but what were they thinking with this name? It reminds me of what happens after you’ve eaten there, not something you’d like to end a meal with. To burn this off you’d have to run for over two hours. Hmm … an apple isn’t sounding so bad after all.
A better bet: I would never feed this to a child, but you could order the Spotted Dog Sundae off the kid’s menu, and split it with another adult. It has 730 calories and 27 grams of saturated fat; diet food compared to the Thunder.
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(Info Sources: CalorieKing.com, Eat This, Not That by David Zinczenko)
