I love all foods—the greasier the better. So any day that includes deep-fried calamari with warm marinara sauce is a good day—no, a great day—by my standards. There’s no better place for all things fried than a state fair. But these people take deep-frying to a whole new level, a level that makes my fried calamari look like child’s play. This list of the most outlandish state fair delicacies puts the Carl’s Jr. Bacon Cheese Six Dollar Burger to shame.
1. Krispy Kreme Burger
Stop wiping your glasses, you read it right—Krispy Kreme Burger. A cheeseburger with bacon, except the “bun” is two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Created by a minor-league baseball club, this baby costs $4.50 and it packs well over 1,000 calories. (Just one glazed donut has 10 grams of sugar). Pairs nicely with Lipitor. Photo source: satanslaundromat
2. Kool-Aid Dill Pickles (Koolickle)
To make a Kool-Aid pickle, just remove half the brine in the pickle jar and refill it with your favorite flavor of Kool-Aid. The pickle will turn a glowing red or neon green depending on what flavor you use. Found at most southern state fairs, and an elementary school cafeteria in Indianola, Iowa. Photo source: chotda
3. Deep-Fried Drinks
From your breakfast drink to your late-night cocktail, the state fair has you covered (in fatness and goodness).
Latte: I enjoy my morning latte with soy milk and splenda, others take theirs with pastry batter and ice cream. A deep-fried latte is made with cappuccino ice cream, whipped cream, caramel sauce, and is sprinkled with instant coffee powder. The Deep-Fried Latte made its debut at the 2007 Texas state fair. Creator Mike Levy said, “We have gained about ten pounds trying this.” The best part of waking up is an artery-clogger in your cup.
Deep-Fried Coke: Coke syrup, mixed with funnel cake batter, deep-fried, drizzled with additional syrup, then drenched with whipped cream and don’t forget the cherry. This masterpiece won an award at the ’06 Texas State Fair and sold 10,000 cups in its first week. Plus, it only has a mere 830 calories.
Deep-Fried Cosmopolitan: A deep-fried cosmopolitan is actually a fried pastry overflowing with cheesecake, drizzled with a fruity glaze, and topped with a wedge of lime. Naturally, it’s served up on a stick. Photo source: cambelina
4. Donkey Tails
A donkey tail does not actually contain any donkey parts. It’s a large beefy sausage filled with cheese, enveloped in a flour tortilla and deep-fried. Top it with chili, nacho cheese, or salsa if you’re watching your calories. The tails became popular at the 2006 Texas state fair and were created by Ruth’s Tamale House. Photo source: newyork808
5. Fried Cookie Dough
This one was voted best new state fair food at the 2007 Texas state fair. The cookie dough is first chilled (chocolate chip, pecan, and coconut-based dough), then battered, then deep-fried. Garnish with artificial whipped topping of your choice. Photo source: hyperbolation
6. Cool Dog
A cool dog will quench your hunger for salty and sweet. It’s a hot dog that replaces the bun with sponge cake and replaces the frankfurter with ice cream. The condiments are replaced with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and sprinkles. Cool-dog-a-licious! Photo source: Tales_of_Interest
7. Fried Avocadoes and Fried Guacamole
Concessionaire Allan Weiss offered up Zesty Fried Guacamole Bites in 2007, and in 2006, he created the Fried Avocado (chunks of avocado, breaded and fried). The guac bites are created with a scoop of guacamole, breaded, fried, and served with ranch or salsa. Photo source: Elevated
8. Fernie’s Fried Mac ’n Cheese
Scoops of macaroni and cheese topped with garlicky breadcrumbs and then, (surprise, surprise) deep-fried. There’s only 610 calories per stick, now found at trendy Williamsburg restaurants. Photo source: mattkiazyk
9. Spaghetti and Meatballs on a Stick
This Italian treat is balled up, breaded, and fried. (I see a theme here.) They cut the spaghetti strands into small one-inch chunks, and then roll them up into a big meatball. The meatball is then dipped into marinara sauce and fried. Also known as “Heart Attack on a Stick.” Photo source: chotda
10. Butter Busts
At the Minnesota state fair, you can have a personal bust made of butter. I’m guessing that anyone who’s into deep-fried coke and spaghetti would likely enjoy a hunk of butter shaped like Uncle Frank’s head. Photo source: jschumacher
Despite the deep-fried theme, I’m sure that state fairs around the country really do care about the obesity epidemic. (Pickles are sort of a vegetable, right?) Secretly, I would probably try all of these heart-attack snacks. Super secretly, I bet they taste pretty good. If you’re not into gorging yourself on fried food, you could always travel to Indiana’s state fair and enter the Spam recipe contest. But beware there’s stiff competition: 2005’s winner was Green Tomato Spam Fritters.
Updated August 12, 2008