When I tell people what I do they usually tell me about a friend, family member, or acquaintance who “struggles with their weight.” They also assume that weight gain was never an issue of my past. The beginning of their story is compassionate, “I just want them to be healthy, I really care about them, I want them to be happier.” Then the story usually turns, “They just won’t exercise, they are lazy, they eat fast food, they won’t cook, they refuse to take care of themselves.” This is when I feel the need to step in and be an educator. We don’t gain weight because we are lazy, pathetic, useless, or whatever other adjective tends to become thrown in the mix when explaining someone who “needs to lose weight.” We simply become unaware, uninspired, or unhappy. When we become unaware, we don’t notice that our body is asking for help. When we become uninspired, we can’t see a result in taking part in self-care and self-love. When we become unhappy, our bodies are simply a burden on our already burdened lives.
I am writing this not to the people that “struggle with their weight” but to the rest of the people that believe weight gain is something that is a result of lack.
I believe that every person struggles with limiting beliefs, some people may use their limiting beliefs to keep them stuck in their jobs, relationships, bodies or all three at once. If you feel as if you have limiting beliefs in any aspect of your life, can you imagine what it would feel like to have a belief that you are “too lazy” to take care of yourself? If that emotion ran through your head every single day, how do you think you would act? If society told you that because you are overweight, you are lazy, how would you feel about exercising? How would you feel about getting up and taking care of yourself? How would you feel about dressing yourself in a fabulous outfit with your head held high? And if nobody told you any differently, do you think you would change?
Gaining weight is a gift; it allows you the opportunity to become so completely interested in what your body does. If you have never had issues with your weight, it would be almost impossible to understand what goes on in a mind of someone who wants more than anything in the world to lose weight. On top of this strong desire to lose weight, there are feelings of defeat, struggle, and a constant feeling of judgment from the rest of society. I am not saying it is hard or difficult to lose weight, I am just saying that switching a mind that is used to being abused into becoming inspired isn’t going to happen as a result of someone assuming that they are “just lazy.”
If you love someone who wants to lose weight, just love and empower them. When you hear them say statements like, “I can’t” or “I’m too lazy” I’m too overweight” or any other limiting belief tell them they are wrong. If someone would have grabbed me, shook me around and said, “There is nothing wrong with you, you are simply not living” my weight loss journey would have been vastly different. Try not to make assumptions about their reasons for gaining weight. Try not to make assumptions for their reasons of difficulty for losing their weight. Try to understand that only with love and compassion can we move forward on our weight loss journey, not pity, simply understanding and empowerment.
