As America’s baby boomers blossom into late middle age, fifty or so, the US health care system will need to make a few changes to keep up with us. On turning fifty this year, I think I look and feel at least a little bit younger. It is startling to be called mam or asked if I would like the senior citizen’s discount. But at least when uttered with respect, I can withhold a sharp retort and realize that I, too, was once young.
Accompanying my aging parents and far too many of my middle aged friends to doctor’s appointments, “procedures”, and surgeries over the past year, I have noticed a very frightening trend of disrespect among health care professionals. Somehow, I don’t ever remember being rude to anyone older than myself and hopefully not to anyone, particularly, when I was a service provider and they were the customers.
After a lot of thought, I’ve written a few suggestions for those fabulous human beings who valiantly act as caregivers to the sick and aging. Hopefully these suggestions will help medical personnel understand that although we may be sick, we baby-boomers are accustomed to getting what we pay for, being involved in our own health care decisions, probably know our bodies better than you do and are not likely to accept being treated as mentally incompetent until we are.
- Don’t be patronizing, even if you are sure I don’t know what a Foley catheter is, I will ask or will catch on soon enough.
- Answer my questions in lay terms, not baby talk. If you don’t have time, then find someone who does. Most doctors have a physician’s assistant or a team of interns around to help with this. Who knows, bedside manner development early in a young doctor’s career may serve he/she well in the future.
- Try to include me in decisions regarding my own treatment. After all, I’ve been living with this body longer than you have known me.
- Assume that if I have intelligent questions, I am capable of understanding intelligent answers. I may not know the difference between a PET scan and a CAT scan, but I do know how to google just about anything.
- Trust me to tell you the truth about medications or drug reactions I may have. LISTEN—I might know something you need to know and will save you embarrassment, time and someone money.
- If I am having a “procedure” respect my privacy. For most of my life, I have chosen who sees me naked. Just because I had surgery doesn’t mean I want my behind viewed by everyone in the room or hall.
- Don’t assume that when I am medicated, I can’t hear or remember what’s being said. I don’t mind a little baseball talk, but please don’t have staff spats in front of me.
- I won’t use the nurse call button unless I really need you. If I do and everyone is busy, just let me know that it may be a minute and I’ll let you know that I can wait my turn, or not.
- If I am hospitalized, I will not ask the nurse to call a doctor unless I really really need one. Don’t assume I’m a hypochondriac until I have proven that I am.
- If I am hospitalized and have the luxury of having a family member or private sitter stay with me, please treat them with respect. They are, after all, probably making your life easier.
- Nurses- you are the guardians of my daily life—please try to be nice even if you are overworked and underpaid. You can make or break my spirits.
- If I have visitors when something private needs to be done, please ask them to step out of the room for a minute. If I want them to stay, I’ll say so.
