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First Minute of the Rest of My Life - Any Advice?

By: Alli Taking a Look at Reality (View Profile)

I just wanted to take a minute to introduce myself and tell my story.

Wow, eight years I have convinced myself that I am not bulimic, but the truth of the matter is that I am. It all started in college, and then I only had a few “episodes” after I initially uncovered this demon. Over the last two years things have gotten a bit worse. There was even a few times where I would purge into a Tupperware bin and hide it under my bed until I knew no one was home in my house.

Recently it has become easier as my roommate works evenings and there is no one to hear my suffering.

As I have read on a few blogs, I have told myself again and again that this will be the last time... and I keep that promise for a few days, or even a few weeks, but then somehow I slip back into this destructive behavior.

I am reaching out to those recovering from this disease, is there any advice that you can give me on how to fully recover, and be the best I can be, both on the inside and the outside?

First published October 2007

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Key terms (tags) for this article:
body, disease, eating, disorders (view other popular tags)

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Comments

I also hope your daughter's stubborness softens. I hope mine does too. I don't want to be this way forever and I know she doesn't either. I wish I could tell you what you could do that would work, but if I knew that, I'd probably not be where am right now either. Good luck to you both, and God Bless.

(Continuing..) Unfortunately, that fear of gaining weight becomes more and more solidified with every pound lost. Also, one becomes more and more desperate to get rid of food for every pound gained. Is it stupid? Yeah. But it's not easy to stop. Even when you want to. If that sounds silly, try and understand that it's the absolute truth. Your daughter is probably stubborn because of- mostly- her fear of weight gain, along with some emotional issues. Not because of YOU persay. I have wonderful parents, but a bad body image. I feel awful when they find I've been purging (in whatever ways you parents do).. but at the same time, they make me feel awful too. I get in trouble, get grounded, get privledges taken away, get angry lectures and unkind words spoken in the heat of the moment. But I still do it. Those kind of punishments don't stop a person who is struggling with a problem like this. Well, I hope this painted at least a bit of a clearer picture for you. (Continued, next post)

Hi Angry Mom. I know it's been a while since you wrote that, but I figure I'll respond anyhow.. just in case. I'm 19 years old. I have been bulimic for 2 years now. I have a father who has the exact same feelings as you. To a "T". I know he's just concerned, and he loves me and wants the best for me. It's frustrating to him that there is something "dumb" I can do to myself that could do nothing but harm. He doesn't know how to support me because he doesn't WANT to. Which I understand. He responds with anger and frustration though. He doesn't know how else to respond. And that's hard for me. It didn't start out as an attention thing, no. Actually, it's very cliche. It started out because I didn't want to gain weight- simple as that. The problem was, it's easier to eat than be hungry. Yes? And if you have a lack of motivation towards exercising, or maybe just don't want to wait to get results, purging looks like a "quick fix". (Continued, next post)

Can any of you young ladies EXPLAIN to me why you do this? My 18 year old daughter has been bulimic for about 3 years now. I am not a sympathetic mom when it comes to this problem. My view is that it is STUPID. She will not / cannot explain it to me. We have been to counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists (the last one she told she did not need help and did not see a point in seeing him again). So....can one of you EXPLAIN this to me? What feelings started it? What feelings keep it coming back? Why does your common-sense not take over and make you realize you are hurting your body, your family, and your future. Is this an attention getting tactic? Did it start out that way? My 18 year old CANNOT or WILL NOT explain it to me, so I am reaching out to a stranger to see if they can GIVE ME A CLUE. Is your life so boring and unfullfilling that you have to have this problem just for something to focus on? Not meaning to sound un-supportive, but you have it - so you explain it.

hello alli, I have been anorexic and bulimic for about four years now and it is a never ending cycle. The hardest part is to admit that you have a problem and for you to say you are bulimic is a good first step. like myobsession I also do not have treatment options nearby and it would be really hard for me to go away because i have three very small childern so if you do have that option take advantage of it but if not this is a good place to start . just know that you are not alone.