I just had an experience with some friends that teaches me something new about this whole “cancer survivor” experience. I realize that survivors aren’t the only ones who need to move beyond cancer. Here’s what happened: I had a CT scan yesterday and spoke about it on a couple of social network sites. I was kind of miserable, with just enough energy to tweet and moan about the effects of the medicine I had to drink in order to create a contrast on the scan. Nobody warned me that this potion would wreak havoc with my digestive tract, and leave me cramping, bloated, burning, and bowing to the porcelain god. The protocol for this type of scan requires that the target area be doused repeatedly, on a strict schedule, starting four hours before the procedure. Well, if anyone had bothered to tell me this when I made the appointment, I certainly would have chosen a later time for my appointment than 8 a.m. As it was, at 4 a.m. I downed the first of six eight-ounce glasses of kryptonite, and the last one at 7:30. After a few more runs to the altar, I raced to the hospital for an anti-climactic, two-minute CT scan, and returned home to continue my devotions until this morning.
Many of my friends have written and called, expressing deep concern about my health and it dawned on me that since I hadn’t explained the reason for the scan, they understandably feared that the cancer had returned.
First things first: no, the scan has nothing to do with cancer. Second, I am sorry for causing unnecessary worry to people who care about me. Third, this mistake has reminded me that cancer patients aren’t the only people suffering when we are sick, and we aren’t the only ones who need to move beyond cancer. As miserable as the sickness can be, I think it is often tougher on those who must watch helplessly while we suffer. And just as patients need to reclaim or remake our lives without cancer defining us, so do the dear ones who helped us through it.
In the future I will be more careful when I talk about new aches and pains, remembering that I am not the only one who thinks, “What if it is cancer?”
