I have had hiccups my entire life. I’ve been sent home from school because teachers found me distracting, or worse, thought I was faking it to get out of a test. The whole time, I was suffering in pain—yes, pain. People think hiccups are a distraction or funny. But, they hurt, especially after hours and sometimes days. I keep hearing about people being sedated, random medications, and every remedy known to man.
Unfortunately, the known-to-man category is ridiculous. Maybe it’s all in good faith, but come on … sugar under your tongue, drinking upside down, drinking while holding your breath, holding your breath as long as you can, breathing in a bag until you “almost” hyperventilate, or having someone scare you are all simply fools’ efforts to help you, whether they come from sincere people or fools.
Believe it or not, there is a cure. I’m not a doctor, but a lifetime sufferer of hiccups. I was finally given the remedy at a bar … yes, a bar. The funny thing is, every time I resort to this remedy (because it works within a minute), if I’m in a bar, the bartender is dumbfounded. Funny the remedy didn’t make its rounds. Yes, I know you are all waiting for the magic remedy. Well, hold on to your back and chest because I’m sure they are killing you after having chronic hiccups … This is it!
Get a glass of water, cover it with a napkin (cloth or paper: if you use a paper napkin, use a couple), hold it tight over the top of the glass and drink. There is no need to hold your breath, flip yourself upside down, hop on one foot, or anything else. Just drink slowly and calmly. It’s necessary to suck a little through the napkin. At home, I just use a cloth napkin, but since hiccups strike me constantly, I often need a paper napkin and just use three cocktail napkins over a glass of water. If you take calm, normal drinks, with a little sucking through the napkin, your hiccups will disappear. I’ve been able to discretely walk to a bar or ask a waiter for a glass of water and get rid of them tableside at a business dinner and no one ever knew.
