Cancer is mysterious, even to adults. For young children, the technical details of cell mutation and environmental toxins will fall on deaf ears. Remember how you felt when your doctors started talking about technical and scientific aspects of your disease? It’s all a bit overwhelming. Err on the side of simplicity.
Cancer is an illness with dramatic external signs. Hair loss. Reduced energy levels. Surgery. You need to drive home the fact that even though cancer treatment can make you look sick, nothing can change how you feel about your children. Let them know they are still loved as much as always.
Data dumps can be overwhelming. There is no need to tell your children everything all at once, especially the little ones. A sit-down “we’ve got something to tell you” serious discussion may take a hold of your own emotions, which might not be helpful. Small doses of information work well. The more normalized you can make your cancer diagnosis and treatment seem, the more they will accept it and move on.
Cancer treatment takes time. Just like all important things. Young children don’t understand a mommy that needs to take ten minutes for a private shower, let alone huge chunks of time for chemo or surgery or appointments. Daily life for you, and for them, will change. That is hard for everyone. But it can show your children that asking for and receiving help is one of the best lessons to learn in life. Reassure them that this treatment phase shall pass.
Breathe. Really. This is your life. You get fantastic, wonderful, yummy days and you get those days at the opposite end of the pendulum. Show your children that the hard things are a part of life, and that approaching them as a family, together, is the best medicine.
About the author: Sue Glader is a writer, mother, and breast cancer survivor living in Mill Valley, California. She is the author of Nowhere Hair, a children’s book that gently and also playfully explains life during chemo and addresses the biggest concerns of children ages three to seven. Pass on the message that being bald (whether from alopecia, chemotherapy, or just bald and open due to a difficult personal experience) is a time for being bold, beautiful, and brave. www.nowherehair.com
Thanks,
Susan Beausang
