If You Could Choose Happy, Why Wouldn’t You?

Take the pledge to live happy and to live in the moment. Remember what it felt like to get your first bicycle; buy your first car; complete your first New York Times crossword puzzle; have the first kiss from your first sweetheart; score a hole in one or an eagle; watch your child take his first steps or dig into his first birthday cake; or when you stopped to help someone who would have been in trouble had you not? Those are strong memories and happy thoughts, and they always bring a smile to your face. All of these moments required that something positive happen ... perhaps it was earning the money to buy the car or the insurance, maybe by making a certain grade average. Watching the hole in one roll into the cup was probably accomplished through hours of practice hitting balls. Certainly watching the joy on your child’s face as they achieve upright mobility was the culmination of a lot of nurturing and diapers changed. You were invested in these, you lived for them, and you lived in the moment.

It appears difficult to achieve that level of enjoyment daily when you are caught up in the pace and necessities dictated by your life and your lifestyle. There are realities that are inescapable, and many of them are not conducive to fostering happiness. We all know that just as we all know that the greatest joy, the greatest sense of happiness comes to us when we achieve something that was difficult achieve or that required some level of sacrifice. If you managed to put the ball in a short par three the first time your stepped onto the golf course, you were happy, and those around you were amazed. They also realized as did you that it was an improbable coincidence. If you thought otherwise, think again!

When you receive a handwritten letter or even a card with a personal message from someone who matters to you, do you not open it with a certain sense of expectation? You bet. The same level of joy does not accompany a text message or an e-card. Those are fast, convenient, and while fast and convenient, they are far less personal. The letter and the card with a personal note may reside in your keepsake drawer for years, and it will evoke a happy memory when you take it out and look at it. There are times, moments, when you face something that is unpleasant, inconvenient or a pain to deal with. That is a moment of choice. You can allow the negative emotion to take control and compromise your state of equilibrium and happiness. You can just as assuredly decide that you will not permit the unpleasant circumstances or inconvenience to upset your tranquility. If you don’t think so, you have not tried it, and you have the most to gain by taking the pledge. It is only possible to exercise control over your outlook, your thoughts, and your behavior. Everything else in your life will influence or alter what you do. There is nothing an individual can do to prevent a war, a bear market, rush hour, the aging process or control the thoughts and possibly the behavior of others. You cannot control what others think and ultimately how they act. You cannot prevent dawn and nightfall.

You can, however, decide to accept those things that you cannot change, do the best you can to affect those you can influence and to do it with your head up and with your own style. Happiness is a state of mind. Emotion is often triggered or enhanced by a catalyst. That catalyst can be of negative or positive value. When you take control of your actions, your emotions and your feelings, you can turn the gray skies blue. Each one of us knows someone who has that skill set, that unique talent. They go about their lives with a smile and with positive energy. Give them a lime and they will find someone with a bottle of tequila, someone with music and they will host a party. Give them the daunting prospect of an adventure in moving and you will be invited to help them with the move. Unlike others who may extend this invitation, theirs will come with a completely different perspective. There will be others there cheerfully doing their thing. There may be a pizza break for lunch with a glass of wine. In the afternoon, perhaps a Ben and Jerry’s break. A cavalcade of music will pour out of a boom box and occasionally a spontaneous dance will break out. The unpleasant job of moving a household has evolved into a social event and the tasks don’t seem quite as uninviting. That is the power of outlook , positive energy and living happily in the moment.