We’ve all had terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. A bad work evaluation, a disappointing grade, a potential crush who turns out to be interested in someone else, a fight with your mother, a worrisome report from a doctor, a broken resolution … Lousy days take many forms.
Here are some strategies I use for coping with a lousy day:
1. Resist the urge to “treat” yourself. Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, feelings of the loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day. So when you find yourself thinking, “I’ll feel better after I have a few beers … a pint of ice cream … a cigarette … a new pair of jeans,” ask yourself—will it REALLY make you feel better? It might make you feel worse.
2. Do something nice for someone else. “Do good, feel good”—this really works. Be selfless, if only for selfish reasons. A friend going through a horrible period told me that she was practically addicted to doing good deeds; that was the only thing that made her feel better.
3. Distract yourself. When my older daughter was born, she had to be in neonatal intensive care for a week. I spent every hour at the hospital, until my husband dragged me away to go to an afternoon movie. I didn’t want to go, but afterward, I realized that I was much better able to cope with the situation after having had a bit of relief. Watching a funny movie or TV show is a great way to take a break, or I often re-read beloved classics of children’s literature.
4. Seek inner peace through outer order. Soothe yourself by tackling a messy closet, an untidy desk, or crowded countertops. The sense of tangible progress, control, and orderliness can be a comfort. This always works for me—and fortunately, my family is messy enough that I always have plenty of therapeutic clutter at hand.
5. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I …” Get some things accomplished. Yes, you had a horrible day, but at least you went to the gym, or played with your kids, or walked the dog, or read your children a story, or recycled.
