Taking a Vow of Silence

I am having a really hard time this morning. My head is spinning because I hurt someone’s feelings. My ex boyfriend. The relationship was all wrong he emotionally beat me down telling me I was unlovable and I didn’t deserve love on e the other side of that I have my mother and neighbors telling me I was wrong I treated him mean I am nasty I am this and I am that. The abuse is coming from all directions and I feel like I am literally being pulled down into a black whole.

My mind is at a stand still and all I keep hearing is my mother my neighbor her daughter and my exboyfriend. 

Weeks before the break up I had a bipolar episode but when it passed I saw how everything was different. He made me feel like total shit. He really tore me down to the point where I wanted to kill myself. Today I feel the same way. Like I will never get out of this and even if I decide to take a vow of silence it will never end. 
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From Around the Web:
07.09.2011
Lakeya Marks
Thank you very much. I understand and I got out. It's been 3 weeks now.
07.09.2011
belle
I'm sorry you feel this way, but my cousin was in a bad relationship and she decided to take herself out of it. Everyone kept telling her that she messed up because she went with that guy and telling her that she was never going to do anything. But, she told me that she realized her self-worth and that she did not deserve ANY man to treat her the way her ex did, that means emotional or physical abuse i.e. him saying you're not loveable..from that point on she made a vow to love herself and learn from that point in her life. And she also told me that its not what people think or say about you, its what you think of yourself that counts the most. Now she is happily married and living life to the fullest! She inspired me and hopefully this will help/ inspire you in some way:) I wish you the best!!:)
It feels good to write.

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