When new goals are created, it’s important to look closely at what’s going on in our lives and understand how those circumstances might affect our choices. I’d like to focus here on how to keep our goals realistic and how to move forward by paying attention to the current realities of our lives.
Many times goals are created with the best of intentions, but in hindsight, we leave out some of the important elements of our day-to-day life. Because of this, momentum may be lost when those crucial details are not included in the crafting of our goals. For example, a client of mine wanted to start running again after the birth of her daughter. She used to run regularly and felt it was the best way to get back into shape. She initially set it up in her mind that she would go back to her old program of running five days a week in the early morning with a baby jogger and was excited about the possibility of getting her pre-baby body back.
However, when we talked about the reality of her life and I had her tune into how her body felt about the goal, the response was different. She reported that she felt physically nervous and tense about being able to keep up the pace because of the lack of sleep and fatigue she was feeling from the care of her new baby. We then used her body, asking step by step, what she really could do to move towards this goal in a much more realistic manner. She worked out that she would start on the weekends, by first trying one day with the jogger and one day on her own. This decision all came from having her tune into the reality of her life and then paying attention to her body’s reaction as she shaped a realistic goal. (Read more about tuning into the body in New Beginnings, Part One.)
Finally, tracking the progression of goals, no matter how subtle, will keep us going when we feel stuck. There are five key strategies that are important to focus on while we create and set our goals in motion.
Honor Your Nature
What is your natural rhythm or personality style? When you think about your goals, work with your nature and think about how to support it. Do you approach goals better by yourself, one-on-one or with a group? Are you a morning, afternoon, or evening person? If you have to do something that goes against your nature in order to achieve a goal, like taking a class in the evening when you are a morning person, how can you support your nature with the care and attention it needs when it is challenged? Will you need to rest before that class or the next day? Tune into what you will need to do to if circumstances arise that have you at odds with you natural rhythm or style.
Honor Your Circumstances
Be optimistic and realistic when you create your goals by noticing what is currently going on in your life. What’s happening right now that you need to take notice of? Like my client who wanted to start running again, are there certain factors in your life that may be new or perhaps not changing for a while? Looking at these factors and adjusting the steps or schedule of your goal will help you feel more satisfied along the way. In other words, you are where you are in life and sometimes the things you have to adjust for are pleasant and sometimes there is tragedy or heartbreak to account for. Either way, you can keep moving towards your goals if you’re realistic about the circumstances such as time, health, state of mind, or work schedule.
Anchor Your Goals
When you’re thinking about the goals you want for yourself, anchor them in the pleasure of self-care. Sometimes we create goals that will bring an immediate feeling of achievement and sometimes our gratification will be delayed. Getting a degree, finishing a book, working on a relationship, or losing weight are examples of delayed gratification. It’s important to remind yourself somehow along the way that both this goal and you are worth the energy you are putting out. Verbal or written statements about how proud you are of your effort or that you honor yourself for taking each difficult step will keep you moving towards what you want.
Validate Your Achievements
This strategy is very often overlooked, yet is vital to the goal achievement process.
I often ask my clients to do acknowledgment homework, which means they have to come in with a written list of accomplishments they noticed during the week.
