I’m following up on a previous article “Happy Birthday to Me.” It’s so funny, weird, whatever you want to call it, how our lives change around. Having spent the best part of this year on my own, and all of 2006, I have decided to move in with my man. Brave or stupid, we shall find out real soon. I said I was on my own, but, this man was always there. His work takes him to different towns so our meetings are always short—a weekend here, weekend there. The most we have ever spent together in one run was three weeks last Christmas. Then there were his kids, all four of them, to take into account. It has been so very challenging and frustrating and very hurtful at times.
Since my birthday in June, I have done a lot of soul searching. Trying to decide what to do. Even though I know I should look to myself first and see what is right for me, my intuition kept saying you have to stay. For many years I have followed a spiritual pathway and for the past few months I have gone on a deeper level. My man was in fact a boyfriend, not a partner. Now he has moved to a town where his four children and ex wife live. Fascinating to watch this man release his past. His ex left him ten years ago and this man has lived believing they would eventually get back together. He has now realized he has no love for this woman anymore which, I believe, came as big surprise to him. He always wanted his company to send him back to his hometown to work and, now he has his wish, he doesn’t like being there. His sixteen year old (soon to be seventeen) son lives with him. His son is great and I get on very well with him. Also, in doing my soul searching and I learned a few truths about myself. That was pretty scary, I admit. I have released so much of the anger and hurt I have been carrying around for years. I realized where I live now I have become stale and it’s time for me to move on.
Decision made, I broke up with my man and decided to return to England to live. I had had enough. No more verbal abuse. No more knock downs. I was out of here. My man was extremely hurt. He didn’t want me to go. I was brave enough to point out how he was treating me. There was no argument. We talked. The communication was so good. He seemed to change overnight to the man I met. Funny, loving, and very caring. He asked me to go and live with him. He wants me with him. So, I agreed. I move to another town on November third. I am getting a transfer with the company I work for. For the first time in almost three years my man and I are going to become a real couple. And guess what, I AM EXCITED. My inner child feels if it has been released. Of course, I want this relationship to work. I will look on the positive side of things. My gut instinct tells me it will. Since June I have learnt so much more about this man. I have also learnt about myself.
The meditation, research, and studying about life has been brilliant. I have learnt to love me first. I put myself first (without being selfish). I have learnt to be happy and content in my own world. I have found inner peace and happiness. I have read two fabulous books recently: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Most men would not read this book so they cannot learn what women are really about. I’ve learnt I am not on my own in my thoughts and actions. I can certainly look at a relationship through my eyes and adjust and understand men more. The latest book I have read is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L.Hay. What a great lady Louise is. I would recommend everyone read this book. So, all you dear people out there who happen to read this, I send love and light to all. I will let you know how I go at being part of a couple. I take with me the love and lessons I have learnt. I truly believe now that whatever happens in my life has happened for a reason and I will learn and grow. The biggest lesson I have learnt is to be happy with me. No one should rely on anyone else to make them happy. Once you are happy and content with you, with luck, the rest will fall into place.
