I moved to the country four years ago not really wanting to but, as a favor to my husband. I am from the city and always loved it there. He grew up in the country on this farm. My husband’s father had passed away and his mother wanted to move to a “neighborhood” where there were more people. So his mother offered the farm to him. Of course we had to buy it. Stipulations were, if I didn’t like it after two years, we could move back plus I wouldn’t have to work if I would move here.
He has driven me nuts with working and keeps putting off moving back to the city. We have a sixteen year old daughter and she has one more year of high school. She would like to finish high school here, so once again I am giving in to waiting to move. We live out in the middle of no where, very secluded. There is absolutely nothing to do here work-wise. Needless to say, my husband and my relationship have changed. Just recently, I had thought about leaving him, something that would devastate my daughter if she knew. He is very money conscious and controlling. I don’t think he really gave a lot of thought before we moved here about the cost of living here and especially on one income. I feel like I have lost myself. I don’t enjoy anything but my daughter. I don’t care about my appearance and just want to sleep. I know I’m depressed and I do take an anti-depressant and it helps a little. It takes everything I have to make me leave the house. I had a dream last night that I became a truck driver and was taking off for California! I had no idea how to get there so I went to see my father (he passed away seven years ago) so that he could tell me how to get there. I left without him telling me anything. I have been having these kinds of dreams for a long time.
