Our lives begin to change in December 2006. I have always been a go-getter in things that we needed, or things I wanted to accomplish. I have also been the caretaker of many. In December 2006, I begin to get sick a lot; bronchitis, pneumonia, tired, and weak.
In January, my mom was admitted an hour away for again congested heart failure. February was even harder. The sixteenth, the very hour my mother was being moved from ICU, my little brother died in a car accident. The grief was almost unbearable. My mother lived with us and I was her caretaker; he was her only son. I had to keep my head on straight and be there for her. I was left to tell my mother and make all the funeral plans. In March the news that my dad passed away from a massive heart attack came. (FYI, my parents were not together after I was conceived).
Again, as the oldest, I had another funeral to assist with. In April, no bad news, just financial burdens from missing work through all of this. By the end of May, I found out that I was in heart failure, and then the tests begin. By the end of June, I was told I needed open-heart surgery to replace a valve, there was no other way. As my mothers’ caretaker and the main source of income in our home, this all came as a shock. What would we do?
My wonderful doctor begin to set everything up with the heart specialist. The heart specialist then recommended I put in for medical leave at my job. July 7th was my last day, what I didn’t realize at the time was that it put me a few weeks short of leave with pay. I wasn’t scared about the surgery, just who would take care of my mom and my families finances. Then I finally was given my surgery date, September 11th. We made arrangements for my mother to stay at my sisters near to the hospital I would be in, I went in and quickly briefed my sister on how to care for my mom. My pre-op was the seventh. Then I got the news that changed everything.
My mother passed away on the ninth, two days before my surgery. The oldest again had to make the funeral plans. But this time we had been a little smarter and started my mother’s, husband’s, and my own burial insurances and wishes in July. Leaving me less to do. But then what to do, a quick burial the next day to be able to do surgery or put off the surgery? No, some of my mothers last words to me was “I will be taken care of, if you love me take care of your self.” So we buried her at 2 p.m. on the tenth and I had surgery the next morning. I am still in recovery from all of this. Some of the natural things that come with grieving are also common for heart surgery patients. I know that what the future holds is a totally different life than before 2007. I just have to learn to rest and be still, something that I have never done before. I have learned a lot this past year- Learn to be as content as possible in all things because in most cases we can change things any way.
