Have you ever noticed how some people just seem to go with the flow of life, good and bad? And other folks just seem to take (or make) everything harder, having a difficult time dealing with the challenges life throws their way? It’s quite an interesting conundrum, to consider why people fall into one category or the other.
Resiliency is a term I’ve heard used to describe this phenomenon. It refers to a person’s ability to roll with life’s punches, to surrender and accept what is and work with it rather than getting stuck on how they wish things were, or more importantly, denying reality altogether. Those last approaches don’t seem to change anything and they divert valuable energy to resistance rather than moving through and past the issue.
I’ve pondered this quite a bit and have concluded that “surrender and acceptance” is key to cultivating a resilient habit of mind.
I have a friend from long ago who makes Job’s trials and tribulations look like an all-inclusive resort stay at a five-star hotel in Cancun. I mean, between an abusive husband, precarious finances, towering debt and no job, bitter divorce, and much more, she would certainly have had every reason in the world to lapse into a depressive coma and stay there for the rest of her life.
But amazingly, she has a remarkable outlook on life. Maybe it’s just a case of when so many things are so bad, you begin to get grateful for the smallest of things because you know how very bad it could be. I don’t know, but I do know that now things have evened out a bit for her it’s pretty hard these days to faze her with anything.
And, I’ve noticed that she is pretty frictionless when it comes to accepting the “what is” of life. After the initial realization of an ugly situation, she simply refuses to spend emotional energy on fighting the reality of it. She just says, “Okay this sucks big time, but it is what it is … now what am I going to do with it?”
