Do you have a to-do list that is longer than your arm? Do you look at the list and think, “Wow I have so much to do! Why did I say I’d take on that project for the school?” A lot of people carry around with them a lot of “baggage” or “clutter” in their minds, on lists, in their purses, in their cars, and at home. Many people in today’s hectic world hold onto things that they say they should do but don’t, whether it’s something that you need to take care of, or a phone call to that friend you had a fight with and want to apologize to. All of this is the “coulds and shoulds” of your life that you hold onto that end up holding you back and robbing you of your precious energy. You need to let go, but you don’t.
Are you like this?
If you are, I bet it had a negative influence on your confidence and self-esteem.
The Approach
Take a look at your life and get rid of this baggage by asking yourself a series of questions. I’ve included a series of exercises that can help you with the process. In effect, what we are doing is making certain tasks “complete,” drawing a line under them, and moving on.
The following set of questions can be taken at one sitting or over a number of hours/days. Don’t just think about them; take the time to get piece of paper and write them down. By doing this, your answers make a more permanent mark in your mind and assist you in moving on, clearing out the thoughts, and allowing you to open your mind up for other opportunities. Don’t expect this to be something you can complete in a few short minutes. Take your time and work through them over the course of a week or more. Once you begin this de-cluttering process, you will find that your mind opens up and you begin to see opportunities that were there but you didn’t have any room to see them.
Toleration
What are you putting up with? Every day there are small things that each of us put up with, from someone not putting the toothpaste tube cap back on to not putting the dishes way, to tolerating your coworker and his/her constant complaining. Take some time and write down ten things that you are putting up with at home, at work, and any other areas of your life. Next write one action next to each of those items—one step that you can take to get rid of or to communicate to someone. Make a commitment to yourself to make the changes today.
Unfinished Matters
What do you currently have around your house that’s unfinished? This includes any projects you have been working on at home. It could be some part of a renovation, or maybe it’s a craft project you keep meaning to get, or a new hobby you’d like to try, bought the supplies for, but never followed through. This time, make a list of the things that immediately come to mind that are unfinished, make an action plan to reduce this number either by completing some of the items, or simply decide to let them go. This could be either an unfinished project or an unfinished conversation—take the time to deal with them. You’ll begin to notice you have more energy and feel motivated to do more.
Keeping Up with the Joneses
It’s time to quit trying to live your life based on someone else’s terms. Each of us has our own sense of standards and values, so take the time to really learn what is most important to you. Any decisions you make, base them on your values. Decide if that volunteer opportunity will help you live by your values—if not, then let someone else take the opportunity. Even though it’s not about living by someone else’s standards, it’s is good to look to others for positive examples. List five people that you admire and identify their greatest qualities, behaviors, and how they lead their lives to figure out what values you could incorporate that will get you living closer to your ideal life.
