Before last year’s New Year, many people asked me what my New Year’s resolutions might be. I’ve always liked the idea of starting anew and consciously developing aspects of one’s life in order to live more fully. However, much of the well intended query made me uncomfortable. As soon as I told my friends what I wanted to create, they immediately started in with “How are you going to make it happen?” and “What steps are you going to commit to in doing this?” As I coach, I know as well as anyone that if you want to create something that has eluded you, you do want some kind of action plan. But, the intent of their questions, which felt more like police interrogation questioning, had a somewhat desperate, intense, and frankly unappealing energy about it.
In fact, in my life, achieving goals has not been nearly as difficult for me as just “be-ing,” accepting, and surrendering. I have been seduced more times than I’d like to admit into “making things happen.” There is nothing inherently wrong with “doing”; however I believe there is something unhealthy about striving desperately and not being able to be truly happy until you achieve that elusive goal. I know the best things I have manifested in my life are the things I let gently come into being, an intuition followed by an action that was obvious and natural.
When we just “be” and accept who we are and where we are, it can often feel strange or even wrong. The wisdom of the world is mainly masculine in orientation. I am not talking about men—I’m talking about masculine energy. The energy I refer to is assertive “doing” energy. Counterintuitive perhaps to the dominant thought in our world, the “be-ing” or Goddess energy is a very powerful force. Sometimes, I laugh with my clients calling myself the “Anti-coach.” Rather than do-do-do, sometimes their coaching homework asks them to be gentle, be still, let things unfold, and observe. Many of my clients who like creative expression will design dream posters of the life they wish to manifest. Creative expression is the Goddess at work. Projective art projects allow expression to unfold in a gentle non-linear way. Dance offers us a similar opportunity to express and be.
