You wake up in the morning and it begins—and doesn’t end all day. Sometimes it even steals your sleep from you. What I’m referring to is self-talk. The endless chatter that goes on in your head in almost all of your waking moments. It even continues while you are in a conversation with someone else. Is there broccoli in my teeth? I hope I don’t say something stupid. I’m sure he can see right through me and see my nervousness. You know the drill.
From childhood we have heard, “You are what you eat.” What they should have been telling us is that we are what we think. That would have served us much better. Most people don’t have any idea of the power of the thoughts that are rambling through their heads.
Too often our inner thoughts are demons that follow our every moments and criticize endlessly. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning, the demon can point out that you are tired, that you have bags under your eyes, that you need to get to the gym, that you should stop eating bagels, that your commute is always bad, that the boss is overbearing, and on and on. Sound familiar?
Would you ever speak those words out loud to another person? Never. But we generously hand it out to ourselves. We put ourselves through daily emotional floggings and it’s critical that it is stopped. Your future, the very essence of your life, depends on it.
For better or worse, you take yourself with you wherever you go, so it’s important that you slay this demon and replace it with the best friend that you deserve. Since you cannot have two contrarian thoughts in your head at the same time (what a relief), if you just start to guide your thoughts towards the positive you can make unbelievable positive changes in your life.
In “The Power of Now,” Eckhart Tolle teaches us that we can give ourselves relief just by shifting our focus to something of beauty that we are presented with in every moment. Focus on the endless small gifts. Look for the miracles around you and your life will transform.
While this seems easy enough, it is a skill, and with all new skills, they are awkward at first and need to be practiced. So, change the rules to fit you—start with some training wheels.
Make a commitment to start every day by waking up and immediately listing ten things that you are thankful for in your life. Keep the gratitude simple and genuine, such as appreciating the sound of the birds you hear, how comfy your bed is, that you have fresh coffee brewing, whatever just flows.
Once this becomes a wonderful part of your routine, this seemingly small change will naturally start wanting to flow into other areas of your life. Next, start looking for every little sign of kindness and beauty—just for the enjoyment of it. Treat them like little secret gifts that were placed there just for you and it is your job to find them. It is like your own personal treasure hunt. Appreciate the small and endless wonders that are scattered in every area of our lives. Literally and figuratively, stop and smell the roses.
A few years ago, I was just getting home from another daily grind in the office padded on both sides by an hour-plus commute. My parking space was several blocks from my apartment and I was walking home to freshen up and catch a cab to go downtown for, yet another, industry networking event. My eyes were down and my focus was inward. I was tired, my feet hurt, and the thought of having a glass of bad chardonnay with people I didn’t care to talk with was less than inspiring.
