I find it very rare to meet someone that has no stress in their life. If you are like the majority of people, stress is a regular visitor in your life, and it is not welcome.
I think it is important to differentiate between the different types of stress:
1. Stress caused by others.
If you are someone that is constantly taking on other peoples stress, it’s time to stop. It’s easy to fall into this category because we all want to help people, however, taking on someone else’s stress will completely strip your ability to help this person. In order to help someone with their stress, you must be the calm, rational one, and you must be willing to walk away when they are not ready to accept your help. You have no control of other people’s feelings, emotions, decisions, or anything, so please don’t waste your time trying. Can you imagine someone like the picture above trying to help someone else like the picture above? “Blind leading the blind” comes to mind. If you are taking on other stressors you are doing yourself a huge disservice. Remember, it is that person’s choice to feel stress and overwhelm, you have a choice to play into that or step away from it. You can still offer this person help, but let them come to you when they are ready. Don’t allow them to make you feel bad about their problems, otherwise you will never be able to make positive changes in their life or your own.
2. Stress caused by life.
There are many stressful jobs, families, relationships ... etc. It is easy to become victim to these stressors. I would urge all of you to avoid situations that cause you a heightened amount of stress, but if that just isn’t possible you must at least change your attitude. If you are in a stressful job, and you don’t want to leave it, you must make it your priority to leave stress behind. You choose to feel this way. So start choosing to feel calm. Take deep breathes when speaking to someone who causes you stress, meditate before important meetings, and remind yourself that in order to do your best work, you must be in an optimal place mentally. Stressing over these things will not help change them, in fact it will only make them worse. So if you are tired of being stressed from these things, then tell yourself you are not going to tolerate them anymore. Don’t listen to your negative thoughts, they will only keep you stuck.
3. Stress caused by self.
Technically all stress is caused by self because it is your decision to feel overwhelmed. What I am speaking of in this section is about the stressors that you tell yourself to keep you where you are: “I am fat” “I am a failure” “I will never make it” “I am never enough” “I’ll never lose weight” or “I hate working out” or “They may not like me ...” These are all stressors that will 100 percent contribute to weight gain. If you want to see any positive changes in your body you must throw all of these stressors out the window. Begin noticing when these thoughts enter your head and then ask yourself, “Is this my minds way of keeping me exactly where I am?” It is always going to be your fears getting the best of you. Your mind is afraid of change, so it will try to scare you into staying where you’re at. Are you willing to take your life to the next level? Then stop letting these stressors exist in your everyday life.
The most important thing to remember is that stress is your choice to feel. I know it is hard to just stop feeling stressed, but it is really that easy. I used to always ask my coach how; how do I slow down, how do I feel calm, how do I love my body, and she always said the same thing, it’s just a process Michelle. There is no direct answer, it is simply a decision. I decided that stressing won’t help me transform peoples lives, stress will not allow me to have an amazing relationship and stress will never help my body, physically or mentally. Just like some people decide that they are done eating fast food because it is toxic, you can tell yourself you are done being stressed because it is just as toxic. Tell your thoughts they can keep trying to trick you into overwhelm but you are not going to stand for it anymore, and then follow through!
