A few months ago at the Black Dahlia Theater here in Los Angeles, I had the good fortune to see a perfectly wonderful play titled Forgiveness. The acting was flawless and the message was profound. As indicated by the title, the story illustrated how hard it can be to forgive a horrendous act, and revealed the redemption that comes with forgiveness.
The play made me think of past discussions I’ve had or overhead about “unforgivable” offenses. I learned long ago to keep my thoughts to myself around people whom I knew would have a hard time accepting my belief that nothing is unforgivable. I know this concept may be startling to many people, but if you consider that forgiving is something you do for yourself and not for others, it begins to make sense.
The ancient Hindu text, the Vedanta, states that holding onto resentment is like “drinking poison and then waiting for your enemy to die.” Anger and resentment are literally toxic to your body and soul. These poisonous emotions are said to be stored in the liver, which can lead to disease. Kinesiology (muscle testing) reveals that focusing on anger and resentment weakens the entire body, while focusing on loving thoughts strengthens the body.
I’m not suggesting you have to feel a lot of love for those who commit offenses. Once you understand, however, that all wrongdoings are committed by disturbed individuals, then you can accept that the appropriate response to offensive behavior is compassion for the perpetrator. What?! Forgiveness doesn’t mean you condone hurtful behavior or refrain from taking legitimate steps to right a wrong. But feeling compassion means you are able to acknowledge the suffering of people who harm others, and to recognize that those who cause suffering are reacting from their own wounds and misunderstandings. Right about now you’re likely thinking, “What about Hitler?” I would reply that he was a very sick man who was reacting from a large number of real or imagined traumas.
Forgiveness also does not mean that you should suppress your anger. If you feel anger—or any other toxic emotion—it is important to fully acknowledge it so it can be released. Beat up a pillow, yell at the top of your lungs (privately), express your anger fully. By giving your painful emotion the attention it needs, you can allow it to quickly dissipate.
The faster you release your anger, the sooner you are able to return to a neutral place inside from which you can more easily find your heart and move to compassion—not only for the “enemy,” but also for the victim(s), whether it was you or others who suffered from hurtful acts. As one of the highest vibrating energies, compassion, like unconditional love, is a healing tonic for body and soul.
Finally, ancient mystical wisdom teaches that we are each such powerful creators that in order to fulfill our soul’s purpose to evolve, we attract those who violate us so that we may learn valuable lessons. This concept is surely debatable, but I’ve found truth in the idea that those who disturb us are merely actors playing the role we assign them in order to promote our growth and learning. No matter how senseless an injury may seem, there is always a lesson to be learned, even if that lesson is forgiveness. Being the creator that you are, when you forgive others for their trespasses against you, you are also forgiving yourself for needing to learn painful lessons.
If you are able to embrace the truth of your being—that you are a powerful soul who is free to choose forgiveness and compassion in response to injustices—when asked the question, “What is unforgivable,” your reply surely will be “absolutely nothing.”
