Like drapes being closed, a moment in time is shut out, out of view, out of mind.
Tell the story quickly and without emotion so it becomes someone else’s story, easy to dismiss. I was sexually raped by a man I barely knew. Why I trusted him, is beyond my understanding. He talked himself in, like a good salesman, winning my trust. His arguments appeared valid. I was tired; I did need someone to assist in driving. I did need financial help, I was down to my last twenty and wasn’t sure if that would be enough gas money to get me home.
It was nice letting someone else drive so I could sleep.
But stopping at a hotel was out of the question. No, I was heading home and I wanted to move on.
What was it about me that made me such an easy target? How did he know that I was scared of the police? How did he know that argument would win me over?
Very uneasy and unsure I slept at the edge of the bed.
Trust, it is a funny thing.
Those whom I should trust —I do not; and those whom others would clearly see that I should NOT trust—I do.
Hindsight is so clear. Present reality …
I should have driven away; I was in control, wasn’t I. It was my car, it was my destination, and it was my new beginning.
Why was I so easily side tracked?
I wake in a fog, lost of all direction and very groggy; to find this man taking what did not belong to him. I tried to push him away and stop him but I felt so drugged like I was there but had no control over my own limbs.
I remember nothing else till morning.
Nine months later—I give birth to a wonderful little boy.
Twenty-five years later—I finally begin to heal.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit—Psalm 34:18
