I thought he was perfect, at first. No red flags flew up nor did I hear an internal warning informing me that danger was ahead. I’m not the type to curl into the fetal positron when someone raises their voice at me, and have been known to do the same. This situation I’d gotten myself into took me completely off guard.
My first clue should have been when he asked me for money. Things had been fine up until that point. He had gone on a trip with some friends on his Harley and realized half way thru there was almost no tread on either tire and he needed new back brakes that combined costs four hundred and fifty dollars. One question: Common sense tells you to check the tires before you leave for a long trip, right? Right, so it’s not just me. It cost me about thirty dollars to wire him the money he asked for, so I was out almost five hundred dollars. That single act was the worst thing I could have done. I didn’t understand him needing money from me; he had a really good job as a supervisor at a factory.
Before long I was offering to help with this bill, then that bill until I was paying bills for his place and for mine. Soon after he stopped calling as often, stopped answering texts, and we saw less and less of each other. After a few weeks of this I had had enough. I told him I was not going to keep paying for a house I didn’t live in, a car I didn’t drive and credit cards I didn’t max out. He neglected to tell me when we first met he was deep in debt because his last girlfriend ran up all his bills and left him deep in debt.
Well I wasn’t paying for the bills she left him with. When I wouldn’t help out any longer I got a guilt trip, starting with, “if you really love me ...” When that didn’t work he told me he needed a break from me to decide if this relationship was what he really wanted. Wrong thing to say to me. I in return said, “fine, I’m going to reverse every charge on every bill I ever paid.” That is when the monster came out.
Once I got home he called repeatedly and texted me nonstop calling me names and insulting my character one way or another. I was a bitch, a cunt; I sucked in bed etc, etc. When I didn’t respond he betrayed me by throwing very personal information I had confided in him back in my face, along with telling all his neighbors and family I had met. I was done; I got an attorney, filed “remittance” paperwork and am no longer in contact with him. I was only exposed to the emotional abuse for a brief time, but it’s something I will never forget. My heart goes out to those that have dealt with it longer than I and those who are still trapped.
