It’s not about taking pills. I take three pills a day to keep my blood pressure low, a pill to control my cholesterol level, and a pill to increase my thyroid level. It’s not about lines and wrinkles on my face. I have them and I don’t mind them. It’s not about gray hair. I cover that stuff up real fast because if God didn’t want us to have blond, brunet, or red hair, he would never have allowed us to invent hair color. It’s not even about having less energy or being less flexible or failing eyesight.
What I resent is turning from a fairly shapely woman into a potato. My weight is fine. My posture is good. But my body has changed into the shape of an Idaho russet. It doesn’t seem fair. I’m reasonably active, I eat right, I don’t drink to excess (usually, anyway). So what is up with this?
I realize things could be “so much worse.” Yes, I could have grown an extra nose or something. I’m not pretending that I’m suffering from a true tragedy here, I’m just pissed off that my once prized body is not doing what it used to.
I’m 5 foot 4 inches tall and I weigh 130 pounds, or 135 on a bad day. My friends mostly say “Oh you’re small.” Yeah, I’m a small potato, but a potato none the less. What happened to my waist? I swear I used to have one. I see ads on television that say take this magic pill and get rid of unwanted belly fat. Well, I have unwanted belly fat, and unwanted back fat, and unwanted arm and leg fat, not to mention the unwanted butt fat. Do they have a pill for all of that?
I recently saw an ad for a Brazilian waist cincher and thought about ordering it. I think it’s made of Brazilian rubber or something. The concern I have is that it would be hot and probably painful. Then I would be a hot and very uncomfortable potato.
