Teardrop

I am writing this about seven minutes after having experienced a panic attack. 

Negative thoughts flooding my mind,

Dizzy,

Just breathe, breathe,

Chest tightening

A phone call to my psychiatrist friend so that she can assure me I am not having a heart attack,

What is death like?

Hot flashes,

Breathe,

I am so tired, so tired of feeling these symptoms. I open my journal as tears drop onto the pages. I scribble words like, “Help me God, I am so scared.”

I realize I have a decision to make …

I then choose. I write, “I can do this. It’s a decision I make. I can do it. I am strong. I feel no fear! I am a spiritual warrior! I am going to use this to help others. I am a spiritual warrior! I can do this. God is here with me. God is inside me. I am calling to you God. I am ok. I am safe. I am in God’s hands.”

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