I quickly sent out a handful of networking emails before I could think about what I was doing, checking my heart to see if it truly had begun beating again. Miraculously, not only was my heart pumping vigorously, but it was thumping out an increasingly dangerous mantra with every steady beat: I want, I want, I want. I was turning away from my helplessness and taking matters into my own hands.
I was like the adventurer who, upon climbing a mountain for the first time, finds herself in a situation in which the only escape is a terrifying leap across an abyss. Having had no experience with such a leap in the past, she has no way to assess her ability to survive. But as scholar William James tells the story, hope and confidence are, in and of themselves, assets that can put the adventurer in the best frame of mind to succeed. James writes:
Believe, and you shall be right, for you shall save yourself;
Doubt, and you shall be right, for you shall perish.
The only difference is that to believe
Is greatly to your advantage.
Surrender, it turns out, has nothing to do with resignation. In fact, true surrender looks the bleakest of realities in the eye and says “I meet your challenge and raise you one. Whatever you send my way, my spirit will be greater.”
It takes a degree of recklessness to have faith, especially when all the evidence stacks up against you. But because our futures are open and free, many influences contribute to how our lives will unfold over time. Ironically, my ability to hope was itself becoming one of those factors. It might seem small, but I had the sense that my sheer willingness to take action on my own behalf could carry just enough weight to make the difference. Affirmation was immediate.
Jason, a top executive from another of the largest global marketing firms, responded by return email to my first brave attempt at online prospecting. He wanted to sit down with me next time he was going to be in L.A. His firm had a job possibility that he wanted to try out on me.
Chapter 15 from The Year I Saved My (downsized) Soul by Carol Orsborn
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