After the recent shootings at Virginia Tech, it’s hard not to wonder where God was when tragedy struck. If God is all-powerful and all-loving, why didn’t He protect those innocent lives? Why didn’t God step in and foil the killer’s plans? Better yet, why wasn’t God there for the killer leading up to that tragic day, helping that young man to feel the love and acceptance that he clearly never experienced?
It’s a question that great thinkers like C.S Lewis and Harold Kushner have pondered for years: how can we reconcile the existence of evil in a world created and controlled by a God that is good? Unfortunately, there is no easy answer to this question that so often turns people away from the idea that there is a God.
I have recently been working with my therapist on the importance of being able to recognize and express anger when I experience it. I would never consider myself to be an angry person—far from it. People would probably say that I’m too nice. I guess it is sort of a cover up. I’ve come to realize that I experience quite a bit of anger, more than I would ever care to admit. Recently, however, I have begun to explore what it means to really allow myself to be angry. I’ve been working on identifying anger when I feel it and expressing it in healthy ways. I’ve discovered that this is actually a much healthier way of dealing with my emotions than trying to pretend that they are not there.
When the shootings at Virginia Tech occurred, I was able to recognize that I felt angry. I think we all did. It was a senseless tragedy. As I explored my anger, I realized that not only was I upset with the young man who took those innocent lives, but much of my frustration was also with God. I couldn’t help but wonder why God didn’t step in and intervene. If God is good and God is actively involved in our lives, how could something this tragic happen? I find myself desperately wanting answers. I want the way God works in this world to make sense to me. Couldn’t God see how many people, like myself, were questioning Him and doubting Him because of this tragedy? Why would God let something like this happen?
I have a tendency to only want to feel positive emotions. It has taken some work for me to see how healthy it is to be able to acknowledge and express both positive and negative emotions. It’s easy for me to thank God when good things happen, appreciating God’s hand in whatever blessing I’m currently experiencing. But it’s hard to know what to do when bad things happen. How should I respond to God then? If God has blessed my life with good things, does that mean that God has also caused the bad things to happen?
I don’t know the answers to all of these questions, but my therapy has taught me how important it is to ask, to wrestle, to wonder, and to express to God all of the things that I am really thinking and feeling. I think a lot of people are like me—they’re afraid to express anger because they want to avoid conflict. I don’t want to consider the idea that God could have intervened and didn’t, because this would cause some serious tension in our relationship. I’m afraid of upsetting God with my anger and I’m also afraid of becoming disillusioned with God if I find answers that I don’t like.
Relationships are largely about communication. Anyone who has been in a serious, committed relationship will tell you that it all comes down to communication. The same is true with God, in my opinion. If I want to have a relationship with God, then I have to communicate openly and often. I have to be able to come to God to celebrate my joys and also to wrestle with my anger and frustration.
Even though I know it’s healthy to express my emotions, anger towards God is still not something that I feel particularly comfortable with. I wonder who I am to question the almighty God? What right do I have to shake my fist at God and say, “Where were you? Why didn’t you intervene? Why didn’t you save those innocent lives?” And yet, if I’m close to God and I feel safe with God, this is exactly what I should be saying.
Jesus Christ offers us a perfect example of this. When Christ was being crucified on the cross, he cried out to God and asked why he had been forsaken. If Christ can question where God was, then we can too. But the story doesn’t stop there. Christ then resigned his own will and accepted God’s. Regardless of where you fall on who Christ was, I think he provides a good demonstration here of healthy questioning and then letting go. He expressed his anger but then he moved on and was able to embrace God’s will.
Can we do the same? In the wake of the shootings, we should all be wrestling with why this happened, why God didn’t intervene, and what we can do to prevent another tragedy like this in the future. Open, honest communication with God—drawing near to God in the midst of tragedy and asking for direction and insight—is what I think God longs for from us. Don’t hesitate to express your frustrations with God when something like this happens. Don’t hesitate to ask why and to wonder how we are to respond. Continue the relationship. Continue the conversation. If God is truly there, God will reveal to us where we should go from here.
