The whirring of the fan should have comforted me. I’ve had many children who were hypnotized into a peaceful sleep by that constant white noise. But for me, on this night, that buzzing mass of fan blades joined the assemblage of thoughts and doubts that were ricocheting around in my head … bouncing off of each other here and banging into each there, making a total mess of the tranquility that I was so desperately seeking.
How are we going to pay the mortgage this month? It’s due when? And we have how much money in the account right now?
What about my son’s doctor’s visit? We can’t keep putting that off.
The trip to St. Louis is coming up soon: traveling expenses, spending money, some new clothes for the trip.
Oh, and not to mention that we’ll need to be buying curriculum soon. With five kids to officially homeschool this year, that’s gonna cost a pretty penny!
This one needs new shoes and this one could use a new pair of pants for church.
Then there’s my husband’s dental surgery that he’s put off twice because some other need ate the money we had set aside to pay for it.
Don’t even mention my chronic back pain that would be easily relieved with a few trips to the chiropractor.
And, of course, it’s time to go grocery shopping—AGAIN!
My God, I feel like I’m losing my mind!
Now this is the part where a mature Christian would say that the Holy Spirit reminded them of a few choice Scriptures, and they were immediately flooded with a peace that passes all understanding. You know, power-hitters like:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7
But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
