For a week, I’ve been reflecting this thought. Not until this morning that I realized how it is happening. How can your “yes” be different than His plan?
Say, you have your plan and you make your request known to Him. Yes, he knows your prayer and yet He’s showing you the other option in your life, he’s parading His other plan before your eyes. How’s and why is that happening? Is my yes not worthy of him?
When I attended the Cluster Assembly, I was handling the poster, I really have no idea what is it. When I opened it, it was the invitation for those who wanted to take a mission for being His nun. There were this picture of a beautiful girl and the mother superior and whew! He was following me everywhere. Every time that I saw or passed by a woman wearing white clothing all over with a veil in the head, I always have to stop and look at them. My hearts always leap for a moment. I always have this attachment feeling over them that I really wanted to approach them and ask them to bless me with just their hand. When I was in high school, I have made a remark of myself that I wanted to be a nun. Last Saturday, we had our fliering and I saw those two sisters, one in pure white clothing, the other were in beige and black. And last Sunday, I had read the announcement for search-in in the bulletin of the Christ the King parish, and it was fell on Aug.12 and my heart just had this oh-sad-phrase.
One of the speakers mentioned ‘God is courting you’. Well, I guess, yes. That made me sparkled more of the reason. All the time he’s courting me. He’s parading His option for me. And that made my heart ache for a moment.
I always wanted to fell in love and I always make a joke of it, that maybe God would be jealous.
And now, I really need a guidance for this matter, until I have entered a search-in-phase of my life. He’s leading me more. Because when I’m in my lowest, there’s only one prayer I said to him “Fill me in”.
I ask for the gift of discernment to choose between good and best, to choose the way He wanted me to be.
