As a high school World History teacher, I teach students some basics about many world religions, but am very careful not to prejudice them in any way. Students often try to guess my religious beliefs based on how I teach. At any given time they think I am Muslim or Buddhist or Shinto, and I like to keep it that way. But, to be honest, I’m an atheist. It’s never been popular to be an atheist. On a few rare occasions when I’ve admitted it out loud in conversation, I received audible gasps and verbal expressions of concern over my salvation. I mean, even terrorists believe in God.
To be honest, I don’t even like the word atheist because of what it connotes. Theists seem to think atheists don’t believe in God, and therefore don’t believe in anything. We’re soulless and empty. When I’ve asked my U.S. Government students if they would vote for a presidential candidate that didn’t believe in God, most overwhelmingly said no.
So if I don’t believe in everyone else’s God, what do I believe in? My best childhood friend died at the age of thirty. She was sitting on a California beach watching her husband surf when the bluff behind her collapsed in a landslide. I never knew anyone more full of life, and she was gone, just like that.
The tsunami of 2004 still replays in my mind over and over. I can’t accept the idea that these tragedies were punishments from God. But I believe strongly that there is power in this world that is far greater than you or me. Other people may call that power “God,” but I don’t. For me that power doesn’t have maleness or resurrection or prophets attached to it. It just is, and I can’t explain it any better than that.
The other big thing I believe in is kindness. As a mother, I’d love for my children to be smart and witty and successful in life. But mostly, I just want them to be kind to others—all others. Some theists, regardless of the religion they follow, do not always practice what they preach regarding kindness. I feel I can instill this value in my children without the help of church or theology.
A few of my neighbors have large green campaign signs posted in their yards that simply say “Jesus” in large block letters. While I don’t think Jesus really needs a campaign push, I can’t blame them for their beliefs. I just wish it were acceptable for me to admit that I don’t believe in God the same way most people do. Instead of shaming me for not believing in your God, respect me for the good I try to do, and the kindness I try to give. Also respect my basic human right to not have my conscience imprisoned in labels and categories that condemn me for beliefs I can control no more than anyone else. My spiritual beliefs are in my nature. They are good, ethical, humanitarian beliefs, and that should be good enough.
