I believe in signs.
Some may think it is silly and stupid, but I live for signs. I am a solitary person by nature, but I like to feel surrounded by love, even if it happens to be from the beyond, the other side, if you will. They are my real allies anyway, especially in times of need, in times of great sadness and pain. I look for and see the signs, the magic everywhere, and I am a happier and more well-adjusted person because of them.
Here is an example.
I got my heart broken this morning. Someone I love hurt me very badly. I was full of despair, naturally. I prayed for strength, and my guardians heard me. I mustered up enough energy to go running. My goal was to expel the pain, maybe sweat it out.
I have a regular route I run: three-plus miles. I don’t generally vary it. I like the routine and the scenery. But today, because of the extenuating circumstances I wanted to run until I dropped. I wanted to exhaust myself. So, instead of stopping where I would normally stop, I continued on. I was looking to shake things up a little, expand my horizons—literally. The view up there was spectacular. And then I suddenly came to a halt and burst into tears. Running wasn’t going to alleviate this. I needed to cry, so that is what I did. But it was a lonely stretch of road, so while I was at it, I wailed a little. It felt good. And then my wail became a prayer. I beseeched them, “Help me. I cannot do this alone. Please help me with the pain. Please give me strength, so that I can overcome this. Please. I need help. Please.”
I blew my nose and started to walk. And then, seconds later, as I reached a curve in the road, on a wooden guardrail surrounded by tall grass, on this country road. “I love you” written in chalk. And off to the side a little, “Forever. Always.” I said my prayer of thanks and ran home.
Had I not gone, literally, the extra mile, had I not stopped precisely where I did, had I blown my nose or wiped my eyes while I was walking, had I not looked up at the exact moment that I did, I would have missed it. But I didn’t miss it. I saw it. And I smiled and felt a little better, a little less alone. And yes, even a little stronger.
Think what you may, but there is something to be said for believing in signs.
