A phone call disturbed my peaceful slumber on a Saturday morning when I really could have used the sleep. It was my mother. She said we’ve found someone who is interested in buying your grandparents cabin and the land at the lake. Somehow I had been delegated with going back to the cabin and determining the areas that needed to be spruced up or to contract help to get it done. I grumbled as I hung up the phone with Mom wondering why none of my other siblings ever took any responsibility or even cared. Why was always the one who had to take care of them?
Grandpa died many years ago and Grandma had long since moved to the resting home. The road to their cabin was overgrown and hard to maneuver in parts, the cabin in such disrepair it looking very sad.
I turned to walk down to the lake and caught the whiff of what I thought was Grandma’s fried chicken … I chuckled to myself and thought that women could cook better than anybody I know. She doesn’t even know who I am anymore, that disease took her long ago and she stays trapped in her mind and cries because she can’t get out. I said a prayer to God to please release her soon; it just isn’t fair to make her go on like that for so many years. I wondered if he even hears me.
As I made my way down the path I distinctly thought I heard my sisters calling out to me to come join them in the lake. Again I thought how strange your mind works when you long for the closeness of your sisters who you were so close to at one time. How does that happen? How do sister grow apart? How do they lose touch like that? It’s a mystery to me, because I love is still there for them even though they just never have time ... time for me ... time for grandma or even our Mom.
Finally as I neared the lake I saw the boat, the boat we used to fish from , or just paddle into the middle of the lake and lie in the sun and talk about all the things little girls talk about, (boys mostly ) and our innocent fears that all little girls face. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as I remembered and I cried for all that has been forgotten, all that had been wrong ... all the hurts and betrayal we faced once we left this place and suddenly I remembered why my sisters don’t come around anymore, it’s just too painful for them to remember the bad times, the things that happened when we left this place and had to go back home. Mom had no idea, even to this day … I forgave them for not being able to handle it and I accepted the burden of remembering it … then I let it go … It left my fingertips and flowed into the lake, the lake of forgiveness and understanding. And a smile crossed my lips again as I made my way back to my car. I thought to myself I’m going to miss this place.
