“Untimely” is dedicated to my dear cousin, Michael, who left this world too soon.
The man walked with his head bowed down. He was more like trudging than walking, to be precise. He seems to be studying his feet and then suddenly, he looks up as if a new thought struck him. He stops. “I remember feeling angry,” he whispered. And then he looked around him as he just realized he was alone. He turns around and searched for anything, anything that might indicate where he was and WHAT happened. Nothing. Everything was still and enveloped in some kind of white haze. He remembered something else. “I was also happy ... at the same time.” This time he kept the thought to himself as if he felt like his voice belonged to a stranger, and not his own anymore. He shuffled his feet and grateful to be able to do this simple and familiar act. His dark and lanky form created stark contrast with the place.
“Are you troubled, my son?” a voice spoke.
The man took an involuntary step back as he looked up with a start.
At first, he thought he imagined it. All he could see was the same white mist. And he was still alone. “I know now. I am going crazy. This is what crazy feels like.” He heaved a euphoric sigh of relief. The thought of going crazy over knowing not what happened to ones self obviously the situation he preferred.
“I’m afraid not, my child. You are saner than most, if truth be told.”, the voice spoke again, this time with more volume than the man can stand. He gave a shout and cowered with his hands stretched in front of him.
“Who are you?” he whimpered. He could hear himself whimper and willed it to stop but couldn’t.
What happened next wouldn’t have shocked him more if he suddenly sprouted wings. A white-clad figure materialized in front of him. Its presence came with a blinding glare that made him close his eyes, but not without catching a glimpse of its face.
“It can’t be! What is going on?” The man’s thoughts raced like quicksilver. He opened his eyes again, slowly this time and knew he wasn’t mistaken. In front of him was an exact replica of himself. He was looking at a carbon copy of the face he saw each day in front of the mirror.
“You don’t need to be afraid.” the same voice spoke. “Did I not say you were made in my own likeness?”
And then, the man knew who the figure was. He knew where he was and what happened. And he could not imagine why he wasn’t able to guess this sooner. The man dropped to his knees in genuflect and bowed his head down. “But I have been BAD. I had my own share of vices, I have fought with my elders. Why am I seeing you now?” And then a realization. He looked up and asked, “Have you come to punish me?”
The voice chuckled, the sound rumbled like thunder deep within the mountains. “Oh no, my child. How could I?”
The man straightened, and felt a huge weight off his shoulders. The feeling was so distinct, it was almost physical. But then he felt something brush his right foot. He looked down and gasped in surprise. Several red bricks were scattered at his feet, dispersing a smattering of silver dust.
“Thank you.” He whispered.
God smiled then, his expression tender. “I didn’t put them there, YOU did.” The man looked up in surprise. He could only gape in wonder as God took his hand in His.
“You see, My son. Every time you do something you think is a sin, you put a brick on your shoulder. It stays there, because guilt is the glue that leaves it in place. No mortal eye can see it but some people who are more perceptive than others, can feel it there. These are the people who try to make sure you’re okay. I myself have been tempted so many times to take them out but a human’s guilt can be strong.”
