Here’s hoping that all “true mothers” have a wonderful Mother’s Day!
I was just sitting here and pondering about what a “real” mother means. As I was a child given up for adoption, and not wanted by the woman who adopted me, I can truly say I learned what a “mother” is not! A real mother is not a person who runs off and leaves her children for some man! No man in this world should ever take the place of the gifts that God has given them to love, cherish, and nourish, and most of all teach them about Him.
No man is worth losing the love and respect of a child that you bore. That child loves you unconditionally no matter what you have done. They want to be in your presence and spend time with you, no strings attached. A man, on the other hand, only loves you (if he loves you at all) when you do what he wants you to. His “love” is not in any way unconditional, when you don’t do what he wants, he gets angry and storms out the door or leaves his proof of anger across your cheek, and they only want to be with you when it is good for them, And if you want some special time, believe me, you better be in the “mood” to pay the price for their time.
No “real mother” points a finger at you and blames you for all the wrong that has happened to her. She doesn’t say, “If I hadn’t had you ...” or “He wouldn’t have treated me that way if you ...” or “If I hadn’t adopted you, then my life would have been ...” or this one is famous for me, “I didn’t want competition when you grew up… (fill in the blanks, those of us with abusive mothers has heard it all).”
Come on …Your kids are not your problems … you are, you chose to sleep with someone without protection; if you don’t want them, give them to someone who does … and believe me, I know a lot of people who would love to have them! Or don’t agree with adopting them if you are only going to use them as a punching bag or a “mirror of sorts,” placing on them the image that you see in yourself. No mother trades her child’s innocence for drugs or alcohol, or to try to hold to a “man” to save her own selfish needs. A mother never walks away … Never! The only way a mother walks away is if she might harm her child and even then she would know that, were she to leave them, they are safe and will be cared for … A mother never kills her child … and then tries to justify it …
I can not imagine one day without my kids. I even think of losing one of them and my heart breaks and I cannot contain the tears. I worry constantly and I pray God will protect their lives in all they do. Oh, I remember my life without them … but there is no way that I would ever trade those days for now. I never had anyone who ever loved me. I was constantly searching for acceptance and love, but never finding it. There was never any unconditional acceptance until the day I gave birth to that first little baby. Looked down at him and saw an indescribable beauty. A love that I had never experienced before flooded my heart and protectiveness rose up in me like that of a she-bear, protecting her cubs. For once in my life, I truly loved someone more than myself … I wanted to do everything for them and not just me! I wanted to hold them every second and was blown away by the emotions that invaded my being, that I was never even aware existed. With each child, all these feelings and emotions intensified and I felt as if I was truly a “part” of something. The “family” I had always searched for was “mine.” I didn’t deserve it any of it, but God saw fit to give me six wonderful children, and I love them so very much. They are my life, the reason I wake up in the mornings, a reason to keep on breathing. They are my motivation, my strength. I have learned as much if not more from my kids as I have taught them. They are my life …
