I had a dream about my ex-boyfriend. We broke up without saying we broke up, mainly because he’s in a very depressed state or he’s bipolar. (He was lucid enough to tell me this could last a while—like the last time he had one was six months, then his divorce became final, but that was fifteen yrs ago. Who knew that I would have to go through this ish with him?)
He has not been employed since the end of January ‘09, but it didn’t seem to be a problem until April. We were chugging along fine in February, and March. In early May, he told me he woke up one day, and couldn’t take it anymore. He has shut everyone out, he doesn’t speak to anyone, and it was I who had to go to him to find out why this happened. To this day, I’m still in the dark, because I guess he’s still f’d up in the head, two months after the parting of ways. We haven’t talked in almost six weeks. Before he flipped out, he was very sweet and affectionate to me: cooking for me, bringing me home-cooked meals to work, very passionate, but he started to become distant in late April (which is the month his divorce became final FIFTEEN years earlier. She cheated on him, he says, three times, but he loved her because of the sex).
The first time I had a dream, he was acting somewhat strange, but hadn’t completely melted down. He was standing in the middle of my floor, urinating. I yelled at him to stop, but he was totally oblivious to my yelling. Less than two weeks later, he flipped out; he wasn’t violent, just ugly and nothing like the man I met seven months earlier, which makes me wonder if he’s severely depressed or we met when he was on a manic high.
Now, in today’s dream, we were at the same college (which is where we met, I’m a librarian and he was a student at the time). Somehow, I managed to confront him as to exactly why our relationship ended, and we ended up in the shower. I started to curse and asked him if he was gay and started hitting him about the arms and shoulder area—but I felt horrible for hitting him; he looked like he wanted to cry. Then he pulls me towards him and says, “I’ll prove to you how much of a man I am,” starts to stick his tongue in my mouth while kissing me, and attempts to insert his penis into my vagina. He was naked; I guess I was partially unclothed. While we were in the shower, his two wiener dogs saw me in the shower stall and one decided to piss on my leg. What in the heck does that mean?
