Is it just me, or is taking a plane a much bigger ordeal than it used to be? Along with baggage fees and the increasingly demeaning experience that is airport security, we also have to worry about whether the plane will take off on time, if at all. I haven’t taken a flight in the past two months that wasn’t delayed, and I’m guessing many people out there have similar stories. And even if we manage to board and fasten our seatbelts, that’s hardly a guarantee of travel anymore. If the past few years are any indication, airlines are becoming crazily vigilant about more than what we bring onboard—they’re getting stricter about who stays on board, too.
1. Too Fat for Flight
Director Kevin Smith is the latest victim of flight attendants’ becoming boot-happy. He was kicked off a Southwest flight in February 2010 for being, as he put it on Twitter, “too fat to fly.” Smith, admittedly a larger fellow, often buys two plane seats. But when he flew standby on a plane that had only one open seat, a flight attendant decided he was too big and kicked him off the flight. The director claims he’d already buckled his belt and lowered the armrests, but no dice. Southwest apologized for the trouble, but that isn’t enough for Smith. “Now I’m gonna carry this Too Fat to Fly shit around like herpes for the rest of my life …” he wrote on his blog.
2. Too Sexy for the Steward
Kyla Ebbert didn’t see anything wrong with her short skirt and tank top when she boarded a plane in San Diego in 2007. But a flight attendant was so scandalized that he demanded she change her clothes or get evicted. She compromised by pulling down the skirt hemline and wearing a blanket over herself so as not to threaten Southwest’s family-friendly image. Afterward, she went on the Today show and modeled said offensive outfit, which was pretty tame. Then, to put the shameful memories behind her once and for all, she posed for Playboy.
3. Too Talkative for Takeoff
In 2007, Kate Penland and her then-nineteen-month-old son, Garren, were on a flight from Atlanta to Oklahoma that made a stop in Houston. There, Garren started saying “Bye-bye, plane” over and over, enough to attract the attention of a Continental Airlines flight attendant. The attendant told Penland to quiet him, even suggesting “baby Benadryl.” When the mother refused to drug her son, the attendant told the pilot to turn the plane around and the two were kicked off.
4. Too Curious for the Cabin
A Muslim family was thrown off a plane leaving Washington, D.C., in 2009 after a fellow passenger overheard them discussing the safest places to sit on a plane in case of emergency. While the pilot prepared for takeoff, an FBI agent boarded and took the family off the plane for questioning. They were later deemed safe and released, but they claim that AirTran Airways still wouldn’t allow them on a later flight that day.
5. Too Peep-Show for Passengers
Emily Gillette boarded a 2006 Delta flight at Burlington International Airport and started breastfeeding her daughter. A flight attendant came over with a blanket and told her to cover the baby’s head while she fed, saying that the sight was offensive to others. When Gillette said no, claiming that her breast was already mostly covered, the flight attendant forced Gillette, her husband, and her child off the plane.
6. Too Thirsty for the Tarmac
In February 2010, Manhattan doctor Mitchel Roslin was traveling from LaGuardia Airport with his seven-months-pregnant wife and two kids. The plane was grounded for over two hours because of engine issues, and his wife was getting overheated. He requested water for her from a Spirit Airlines employee and was told it was against company rules to give out beverages before takeoff. He kept asking and was eventually booted from the plane. Spirit Airlines claims that they were asked to leave because the doctor was being combative and his son kicked one of the crew members.
