Sometimes it seems fashion is deliberately ugly, garish, and unflattering. The French even have a word for it—“jolie laide” (a woman who is both beautiful and ugly). However there’s nothing beautiful about these six fashions.
Uggs: I can’t think of a worse fate for women’s shoe fashion. Unless your name is “Bride of Sasquatch,” save the Uggs for house slippers—when nobody’s looking.
The Tent Dress: For a a few hundred years, dresses were designed to flatter the body until someone decided to screw it all up with something called a “Tent Dress.” This dress only works if you’re a cute three-year-old toddler—or Angelina Jolie.
Harem Pants: Two words: M.C. Hammer. I’m also including the occasional riding pants.
Shants: Sheer Pants. I have no words to explain this horror.
Jumpsuits: Some things are just better off in two pieces. The jumpsuit never really died, rather it’s been living in purgatory, constantly haunting us.
Crocs: Only to be worn by children under eight ... otherwise can be used as birth control.
Crocs images courtesy of Roland, Roosterfarm, and Twopinkpossums on Flickr (CC)
Where Are the Fashion Police When You Need Them?
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The sheer pants really are horrendous! Accessories to stick inside the little holes? Haven't seen those yet (and probably wouldn't want to)!
My cousin, who was standing up in his sister's wedding had not purchased shoes for the wedding yet. A group of us went to the nearest "one-stop-shopping store" to get the various items still needed for the wedding. Though I have never considered myself much of a fashion monger, I don't have horrible taste...and we were with my middle aged aunts. He held up a pair of nice shoes and a pair of black croc-ish-looking things...And asked me which one would look better. Duh. Thank God I was there to save him from standing up in his sister's wedding wearing CROCS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And harem pants?! Really?! Like...aren't girls' outer thighs ALREADY the most dreaded part of the body?! Do we really need to EXPLOIT them?! Jumpsuits work on skydivers and Charlie's Angels...But that's IT. Thanks!! So entertaining!! =)
UGLY UGLY UGLY!
What is so funny/awesome about this article is how true it is. Especially the Bride of Sasquatch thing (although I must confess to owning a pair of brown Uggs that keep my feet so toasty at night that it's completely justified). But I'm with you on the Crocs--especially when they started selling accessories to stick inside the little holes...oy veh....
Thank goodness someone else who doesn't like crocs. I've been looking for a nice pair of comfortable and sexy clogs and am constantly assaulted by crocs! These are the ugliest shoes every created. I realize they are comfortable, no doubt the same can be said about granny panties. Thanks for writing, saves me the need to do so!
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