“We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
– Marianne Williamson
For the past week, I have been conducting an experiment. Every morning when I wake up, I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and ask myself this question: “If I were not afraid, I would ...”
The answers have been fascinating, and far reaching. One that keeps appearing over and over again is, “If I were not afraid, I would let myself be beautiful.”
I find this startling: What is so fearful about being beautiful? In our appearance focused culture, why would I shrink from being as ravishing as possible?
Here’s why I’m afraid. I’m afraid of attracting envy. I’m afraid that I’ll get too attached to my appearance, only to grasp when it fades. I’m afraid because if I feel beautiful and confident I won’t have an excuse for not pursuing my passions and dreams. I’m afraid because I won’t have a reason to hide myself from the world.
I’m afraid because I’ll have to change my perception of myself, and accept my divine worth, abiding in the image of God.
Wow.
I am afraid of my goodness. I am afraid of being my physical best.
