Flabby Dad
So Dad’s a big fat liar. You’ve accepted that a leopard doesn’t change his spots—he’ll always be creative with the truth—but he can slim his spots so you can feel he’s made an effort to change. The Male Abdominal Shaper instantly lifts, shapes, and slims dad’s lying body, flattening his stomach, waist, hips, and back. Now Dad’s a big skinny liar.
Photo source: MakeMeHeal.com
Cheating Dad
He tells your mom he wants to be alone then takes off for the weekend with a broad named Joan. Dad will get a kick out of this smooches hankie, which he will see as a wink and nudge to his devilish doings. Hopefully mom will see the hankie—and the light—and kick devilish daddy out. If not, get him this “I’m with stupid” tee with the finger pointing down to his cheatin’ ding-a-ling.
Photo source: avrilloreti.etsy.com Photo source: OneHorseShy.com
Useless Dad
When I was a kid, I used to get such a kick out of hearing my friend Martina talk about her father: “He’s a toothless, useless, hairless bastard” she’d say and we’d all laugh with a mixture of shock and admiration. She saw her dad for what he was at an early age, but if you’ve just copped now, don’t panic come Father’s Day. Gift him something you wish you’d thought to give him when you were thirteen—a highly-informative how-to book. Rising to the Occasion will teach Dad everything from how to wrap a present, be a wonderful weekend guest, unclog the drain, shake hands, give a haircut, and more.
Photo source: SpoonSisters.com
Drunk Dad
You wish you could bond with your dad. You enjoy baseball, tennis, and classical music. Dad enjoys, well … drinking. Instead of wishing he were someone else, why not make an effort to enjoy his favorite pastime by buying him these cool DIY Drinking Strawz? These fun straws have twenty flexible rubber connectors and sixteen translucent straw pieces so that you and dad can build a straw that dips into two (or more) cups, and allows for sharing the drink and the fun! If you want to get dad into some of your hobbies, you might consider the beer belly pouch so Dad can sneak his interests along under his shirt.
Photo source: ThinkGeek.com Photo source: BaronBob.com
Not-So-Bad Dad
If your only gripe about your dad is that he’s a little rough around the edges, then maybe he just needs a little softening up. You could cry on his shoulder (and ignore him calling you a sissy), volunteer him for a Dr. Phil episode, or you could just soften his exterior with the Man Can. This cleverly packaged kit includes everything dad needs to go soft: Fisherman’s Hand Butter, Fisherman’s Scrub Soap, Spicy Shave Gel, Bay Rum After Shower Oil, and a body mitt.
Photo source: Delight.com
If you’re not quite ready to come to terms with—or shop for—the dad you’re stuck with, then go easy on yourself and him, by getting “dear old dad” a really cool gift.
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