We don’t choose our coworkers, but they are the people with whom we pass the majority of our time. Modern Americans spend more than half their waking lives at their jobs, and more time per week with their coworkers than with their spouses, families, and friends. It’s only natural that many of us end up developing friendships with those people who share our workspace. After all, they hear our personal phone calls and commiserate over bad bosses. Having friends at work can make the days a little fuller and brighter, but if the professional gets a little too personal, they can also have dangerous career consequences.
You’ve Gotta Have Friends
Work friends may be individuals who have been close pals for years, or they may have little in common besides sharing a cubicle. In an office setting, most “friends” fall into the more superficial category of friendship—they’re people we chat with before meetings or enjoy a coffee break with, but don’t have much of a relationship with outside work. Although work friends may know a little about each other’s lives, they’ve often not met each other’s outside friends or significant others, have not been to each other’s homes, and don’t do non-work-related activities together.
Even if workplace friendships are superficial, though, their biggest benefit is that they make coming to work that much easier, so much so that many employers actively encourage their employees to be on friendly terms with each other in order to cultivate a fun, open, and enjoyable work atmosphere. One Gallup poll in 2007 revealed that having close friendships in the office increased employee satisfaction by almost 50 percent. Having relationships with people we work with—whether it’s a strictly office-only friendship or one that extends to the occasional lunch date or evening cocktail—can help make work feel like a more personally satisfying experience, and can make putting in extra hours or effort more bearable. Friendships foster connections within and between teams, enhancing trust, communication, and understanding, too.
In addition to their measurable effects on productivity and output, work friends are good for us in many immeasurable ways. Work friends can keep each other abreast of office news (or even beneficial gossip), and can assist each other on projects. Being friendly with people in the office can even be a boost to career growth, since it can mean getting better access to information about upcoming openings or opportunities.
Work friends provide support and encouragement and help with professional growth, urging each other to become more skilled and proficient at their jobs. When employees have knowledge of each other’s personalities and personal lives, disagreements are easier to resolve, since the participants are more invested in the relationship. An employee who has good relationships with her coworkers is more likely to reach out and receive help when she’s overworked, as well as to offer help when another employee is in need.
Buddy Beware
Having a group of pals can make work more entertaining, but becoming too enmeshed with coworkers can have detrimental effects on a person’s career. The biggest risk is productivity: many people spend so much time lunching or discussing personal business that work itself falls by the wayside. Another big risk is that friends who help each other with their workload will develop an unequal dynamic, in which one is asked to cover for the other or to pick up the slack for the other without getting reciprocal assistance.
Two people who are the same age and work in the same field may initially be inclined to be friends, but jealousy often enters the picture sooner or later, and if one friend gets a promotion or transfer the other desired, hurt feelings and resentments can ensue. Work friendships can also become more complicated when one friend ends up in a position of authority over the other friend.
