Finally, a work holiday that both the mighty and the masses can celebrate!
According to a posting on Brownielocks.com, February 11–14 is “Just Say No to PowerPoints Week.” Why stop with one week when business can ban the PowerPoint plague forever? To help the cause, I’ve compiled a list of the top ten most annoying things about PowerPoint:
1. Excess Effects.
Flying text and flashing photos! Crappy clip art and monotonous musical files. Tacky transitions that push up and wipe down … How about inserting an idea while you are at it?
2. Group Read Along.
No one plugs in the Proxima to project a lowly Word document. So why do people think it’s acceptable to simply slap the same text, sentence by sentence, into PowerPoint, then read it aloud to their audience?
3. Buzz Kill.
When is a PowerPoint not just a PowerPoint? When it’s a deck, of course! Not only do you need to master the master slide versus the build slide, you also have to learn the lingo. PowerPoint presentations are built on templates, you can populate the slides. and also embed elements. Once you are finished, you should always scrub the deck before projecting. Is it any wonder I hate PowerPoint.
4. Rorschach Inkblots.
How many times have you heard, “This next page might be a little hard to read”? Cue the shrunken spreadsheets sized to fit the slide, but not to be legible. Are the numbers up or down? And more importantly, does anyone else see the Virgin Mary up there?
5. It’s a DRAGGGG.
Poke a pin in most PowerPoint presentations and you will fly from thirty minutes to three in less time than it takes to find the slide show function. Talk about time management …
6. Digital Divide.
It’s true what they say about old dogs (seasoned bitches) and new tricks. While most millennials were raised on PowerPoint and can produce presentations in their sleep, the C-Suite usually isn’t so skilled. Tangling with text boxes and trying to align images really doesn’t seem to be the best use of my well-compensated time …
7. Cheat Sheets.
Why must people hand out advance hard copies of their presentations? It’s just foolish to think folks will simply “follow along” when they can flip ahead and start trashing proposals on page seventy-three when the speaker is still on five.
8. Frivolous Fonts.
Seriously, what is up with all the fonts? Instead of a standard size, PowerPoint text always seems too small or too big; precise PR-types pack every page with ten-point Palatino while sloppy sales guys project simple in size forty-four Comic Sans (typos and all). And don’t get me started about shades and shadows, and serious subjects presented in a ridiculous rainbow of colors ...
9. Corporate Waste.
Ever served as an executive advancer, the high ranker who pushes the buttons during the PowerPoint presentation of a higher ranker? I once had to fly to London to manage “logistics” during a lecture given by the boss of my boss. It seems no one else was qualified to hit “enter” at the end of each slide. Great way to sharpen the skill set …
10. E-bombs.
Don’t you hate the people who pass along PowerPoint presentations via email? Attached please find a zillon-pound PowerPoint to blow out your Blackberry / inbox. It isn’t particularly interesting or insightful, but boy, it sure is big!
Okay, it’s your turn—what did I miss? Please post your grievances below, and together we can work to make every week a “Just Say No to PowerPoints Week”!
Remember, if you don’t have anything nice to say, my door is always open …
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