While my boss was telling me that I was his go-to person, he was also informing me that my position was being downsized. It struck me as funny because my immediate thought was, The go-to person is GONE?
This happened years ago while I was working at a tech company; a product launch, delayed several times over, prompted the downsizing. At the time, tech companies were going down faster than leaded balloons, which meant the unemployment rate was increasing along with the competition. I had never been suddenly unemployed and I wasn’t scared or upset—I was curious.
While I was embracing this change, I was declining invitations to blame games and pity parties from former and current employees, friends, and some family. One college friend insisted that I was in denial because I wasn’t angry or scared. She said, “You are acting too calm during the worst time in your life.” I told her I was healthy and no one had died, so how could this be the worst time in my life?
Being angry couldn’t change anything, plus I am a strong believer in graceful exits. They treated me well the years I worked there. I liked the job and had learned a lot; the industry was dynamic and my coworkers were smart and innovative. My biggest contention was reconciling my ego with my unemployed self. My ego told me I was smart and talented and would be working in a few weeks; my unemployed self said, “Girl, I don’t hear the phone ringing daily.” My ego told me to relax and take a vacation and my unemployed self said, “If you don’t have a job, that’s your vacation.” My ego told me this was the time for better opportunities; my unemployed self said, “Your opportunities are knocked down!”
This was a chain of “crazy,” but ironically, it gave me perspective by not allowing me to go too far on either side. I didn’t want to slip too deep into the negativity of being unemployed, making it easy to accept invitations to blame games and pity parties, feel dejected when the phone wasn’t ringing, or get discouraged when the unemployment rate increased. I also didn’t want my ego to set impossible standards where I couldn’t be flexible and open to possibilities, i.e., accepting a change in industry, position, salary, or location.
My ego and my unemployed self continued this power struggle, but I just dealt with it.
