One of my biggest guilty pleasures in recent years is watching the Today Show, and more specifically, the Kathie Lee and Hoda segment. Well, I happened to be watching today during one of my tacit moments of “me time” and tuned in just in time to hear them discussing a recent survey that was conducted on men and dating. Supposedly a study was done by Women’s Health magazine, in which over seven hundred men were asked to vote on the top dos and don’ts of the first date. While I did not agree with all of them, such as “Women Should Make the First Move,” I did agree on most of the issues. I even added a few of my own, and as I was doing so, realized a direct (okay … maybe not so direct) correlation between dating and job interviewing. These same dictums can easily apply during that all-elusive job search. If you want to get what you want out of your career search, then heed the following:
1. “Order the steak already and stop with the salads!!” Just like in dating, too much time is spent putting up a facade and ballroom dancing around issues. We go into interviews or promotion negotiations with the mindset that we will take what they offer and that we are lucky enough just to be here in the first place. NOT! You have worked hard to get that interview, raise, or potential promotion. You have to believe that you are worth it, because, quite frankly, if you don’t, who will? If you want to get what you want, then you have to ask for it ... right up front with no pretensions. This can apply to salary, promotions, a raise, etc. Know what you want before you go into the meeting and ask for it. Be prepared to be shot down, but know that you won’t be disappointed because you didn’t ask for what you want. The old adage stands true: You never know unless you try.
2. “It’s a turn-on when a woman insists on paying all or half of the bill.” Now I would never in a million, trillion years advocate that a woman pay the bill on a date (I know that this poll had to be written by men ... but I digress), I do believe that sometimes interviews and the process can be much like dating, and like dating, socialization is volley for the course. It may do you wise to take your supervisor/manager to be out to lunch/dinner to learn more about each other from a social perspective, outside of the rigorous, bureaucratic confines of the office. It is important to know who you are “going to bed with” outside of the professional aspect, because the truth of the matter is that people typically spend more time at work with their bosses and coworkers than they do at home with their families. Do I condone becoming mindless drone workaholics? No ... but the fact still remains. In the latter stages of the hiring process or promotion process, you may suggest meeting for lunch/dinner (the opportune time for this would be during the actual offer phase ... anytime before that may seem like petty bribery) to discuss details. If, especially if, all goes well, then it may be wise, even advisable to pick up the tab, or at least offer to split the tab.
