So how do you do it? I reveal some of the secrets in my new book, Bulletproof Your Job (HarperCollins). But for those know-it-alls who have yet to buy my book (and by the way, it’s the type of book you should keep in your desk at all times to remind yourself how to hold onto your job while everyone around you is losing theirs), here is my holiday gift to you.
Rule #1: Crest White Strips. Yup, this is a shallow, cosmetic-based tip. But I get so many letters from people who just don’t understand that having coffee-stained teeth doesn’t do you any favors in the interview department. Stop rolling your eyes, go buy the strips (use the store brand for all I care—I’m not picky), and whiten those teeth. Then smile. Smiling makes you look and feel younger—not bitter, old, and unemployed. I don’t care if you really are bitter, old, and unemployed. It’s about perception, remember?
Rule #2: If you are over forty, I want you on Facebook today. No friends? You already have one—just Facebook me. If you don’t know how to join, let your kids show you, or even better, have a young person at work “reverse mentor” you on how it works. Let that same person help you choose your profile picture. No drunken debauchery, please.
Rule #3: Know about and frequently use Google and Wikipedia. Bookmark them on your computer and set one as your homepage.
Rule #4: Watch an episode of Family Guy. Discuss. Repeat.
Rule #5: Peruse your local Apple store. At least learn the difference between an iPod Classic, iPod Touch, and iPod Nano and you’re on your way. And buy a set of those identifiable white headphones to keep around, even if you don’t have the iPod to go with them. It’s all about perception.
Rule #6: If for some ungodly reason you still remember your SAT scores, keep them to yourself. Not only does no one care, but the scoring isn’t even the same anymore and you’ll just wind up aging yourself.
