I’ve been encountering a super bad four-letter word lately, spoken by both my clients and myself. The word ain’t s*** or f*** or even crap-tastic. No. The word is safe. And it’s as bad as any of the words I just listed.
Now, when I think of safe, I think of sleepiness, hugs, hot cocoa, being with those I love, not being hurt, being invulnerable, fuzzy teddy bears, and big down comforters. If I look at it as one cold winter day, a smile comes to my face. But if I look at it as a state of being, I see it as scary. Yes, scary. And boring. And stagnant. And ungrowthful (yes, I made that word up).
Safe should be a fear, not a goal. Secure, yes. But not safe. Never safe. It seems that almost every creative client I’ve worked with, at some point or another, had dreams and goals and aspirations that weren’t safe. And when my clients talk safe, they’re talking about money. Nobody ever speaks of safe in regards to emotion (even though they say they want to feel safe)—but they should. Staying at your desk job isn’t safe because you might end up punching your bullying boss in the face and going to jail.
No, all desk jobs are safe because they provide a steady income. A guaranteed paycheck. A roof above your head and food on the table. Yes, life is safe if someone else is cutting the check.
Until it’s not.
I have a friend who got laid off from his job a few months ago. At thirty-three years old, he’s had the same job for over ten years—ever since he graduated from college. He was in sales, his numbers were good, he good consistently above average reports, his company is extremely well-established—but it wasn’t enough to save him.
Was he safe?
You can make things less, well, safe while still reaching for security. I promise. Here are some ways to start:
Make a list of all the things that are scaring you, but you know are holding you back.
