Thanks to the iPhone and its ever-growing list of applications designed to satisfy any and all needs (including the need for phones to make fart noises, incidentally), we can manage our lives by pressing a few buttons. Even better, because there are literally thousands of apps to choose from, our iPhones are extensions of our personalities. A simple glance at someone’s phone reveals much about his or her personality and can paint a scarily detailed portrait, down to even the strangest, rarest idiosyncrasies and desires.
Hipster Trying to Get LaidEven the guy with the greasiest hair and skinniest jeans sometimes needs help landing a like-minded hipster honey. But if he’s in the know about upcoming concerts, can fake an acoustic guitar serenade, or use his phone as a vibrator, his chances improve significantly.
Apps: Pocket Guitar, Barista, Shazam, 101+ Photo Effects, Local Concerts, Get Any Girl, Virtual Zippo Lighter, Texts from Last Night, Pick Up Lines, Vibrating Massager
Celeb-Obsessed Tween
In between sexting her latest middle school love and eschewing schoolwork for a marathon of The Hills, this diva in training wants constant updates about her favorite celebrities so that she can live vicariously through them. With enough details to feed on, she could be the next tragic starlet on her way to rehab.
Apps: Backgrounds, TMZ, E! Online, PhoneFlicks, Joost, Anthem Music Videos, Jonas Brothers Walmart Soundcheck, TwitterFon, Celeb News, dHoroscopes
The Dude Who Tries Too Hard
“Where the party at?” If you find yourself saying that constantly and never getting a response, chances are you fall under this category. With apps that let you bump phones and exchange information or whip out one of several “yo mama” jokes sure to titillate the masses, you won’t be lonely for long.
Apps: Urbanspoon, Bump, PartyboxLIVE, Movies, Yo Mama Extreme, Free Shooters, Beatbox Free, Nice Kicks, Female Models, Yelp
