Stop Shopping

Fifty-five percent of American women ages twenty-four to thirty-five have less than $500 in savings. Single women alone comprised 40 percent of all bankruptcy filings last year. According to the Consumer Federation of America, 71 percent of women worry about their finances and 49 percent say they lose sleep over it. From a young age, women are encouraged to shop—not only to buy frivolous things, but also to view shopping as a fun afternoon activity, and one that comes with no consequences.

Shopping has become the great addiction of our generation and, like cigarettes and alcohol, it’s socially acceptable so we continue to soothe breakups or bad workdays with a new pair of shoes; cure boredom with an afternoon shopping spree, and “relax” by purchasing items we can’t afford. Most people live well beyond their means these days. The problems begin when we find ourselves working 60-hour weeks to barely scrape together the minimum payments on our maxed out credit cards.

And of course, if you haven’t figured this out yet, by “we” what I really mean is “me.” Me, the girl who said she’d never have credit cards because she didn’t want to be spending money if she didn’t have it. That was when I was eighteen. When I was twenty-two, my mom had to bail me out of a $10,000 debt accrued by a year of unemployment spent as though I was pulling in decent money. No money, no job, let’s go to Italy!

Now I’m twenty-seven and am still, five years after the bail-out, wallowing in debt. Roughly $15,000—probably more if I were to be really honest with myself. And I still keep meaning to pay mom back for that 10K she lent me. So that brings us to what, $25,000? The median salary for women in my age group and my field in the US is $50,000 (before taxes). If my earnings were within the average and my only expenses were the basics (rent, food, car insurance, health insurance), it would still take me two years to pay off my debts. Of course, that’s if I were to get my act together and transfer my big balances to 0 interest cards. Trouble is I’ve carried big balances for so long that my credit rating isn’t exactly stellar. Sometimes I find myself thinking, “Man, I wish I had a mortgage—then I could get a consolidated loan.” Just what I need—another chunk of money to pay back.

Right now you’re reading this and thinking, “What a loser! What did she do? Blow it all on jeans and heels? I would never do that. Didn’t someone teach her to be responsible with money? She’s probably one of those spoiled girls who never had to work for anything and now that she’s off Daddy’s tab she’s screwed.” Easy there tiger. I was one of those kids who never got an allowance and actually looked down on the kids that did because I earned my money. I made $3 an hour stripping thorns off roses for the local flower shop, I babysat for hours on end, and when I got old enough I got a job at the local pharmacy, coffee shop, restaurants. I always had a job. When I was in school, I carried a full course load, worked 40 hours a week, and still made it out of a UC in four years. I started working full time for a magazine literally the day after I graduated.

4 readers liked this story.
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05.29.2009
Shalaseia
I have to say I have no symphathy even as I am looking for help to get my sons tuition paid because I do not qualify for a tuition recuction because I played by the rules. That is not to say I was not in your shoes one time I learned my lesson. I got myself into dedt not anything telling young ladies to shop or your nothing that means killers have a reason to kill, give yourself more credit than that and own up to it. My mom taught me how to pay my bills and I taught myself how to get in dedt with my first credit card. I worked two jobs so many times it was crazy and went to school full time and partied like it was 1999 and I never felt I was missing anything. Have you learned anything all because it sounds like maybe you haven't and as you get older if you do not get it taken care of now you will never have any tangible assests especially a home and a refinance loan is not the answer if you can't stop shopping...Sha
04.09.2008
Jana B.
Great article! Women (and children) are marketed to constantly! It's ridiculous and it won't stop unless we stop being consumer. Contrary to what society would like us to believe, it is not necessary to "Keep up with the Joneses." Especially if it means we'll be drowning in debt!
10.31.2007
Amy Dalton
I always say that women do not share this type of personal info enough. There are many in this situation or have been at one time. But, we don't admit it. We have been raised in a society where it is taboo to talk about one's personal finances. I think we need to get out there and talk more about our money issues. Share our secrets, support each other, encourage each other - just as we would if we were trying to lose weight. Admitting our problems is the first step to recovery right? THanks for sharing.
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