I’ve always been prone to the rituals of superstition, especially the ones that can be indulged with very minimal effort on my part. I pick up pennies. I don’t walk under ladders. I wish on the first star if I happen to catch it in the evening. And now I carry the number eight, written in Sharpie on a Post-it, in my wallet. This mystical use of office supplies is allegedly going to result in a noticeable uptick in my cash flow. Any day now.
It’s been more than a week since I nestled the eight alongside the scant greenbacks in my wallet, along with random receipts from forgotten purchases, a photograph of my seven-year-old cousin, and a business card from the mayor of Reno (but that’s another story). I have yet to see any concrete increase in my checking account balance. In fact, my financial landscape, which is rarely verdant to begin with, has been more barren than ever.
By now you’re probably wondering which of my medications I forgot to take. But I can assure you, there are some arrangements and rituals people indulge in to beef up their bank accounts that make the little eight in my wallet seem like the most normal thing in the world.
Goldfish in the Southeast
So you want to get rich. According to the ancient art of feng shui, which, says the Merriam-Webster dictionary, is “a Chinese geomantic practice in which a structure or site is chosen or configured so as to harmonize with the spiritual forces that inhabit it,” the southeast corner of your home is where you should focus your money-hungry energy. You can place different items in that area, depending on which room of your house it inhabits, in order to access the spiritual energy of wealth growth. For example, if the entrance to your house is in the southeast corner, then place a dish of coins or a bamboo plant nearby. If the southeast corner happens to be your living room, then place a leafy, healthy houseplant there, or a bowl of goldfish with multiples of three fish. But if it’s your bathroom that falls in the southeast corner of your home, don’t put a plant or fish in the room. Rather, keep the lid of the toilet down and the door closed, which is the usual feng shui advice for a bathroom. (Which would seem to indicate, if your southeast corner is your bathroom, that, well, you’re just going to be broke.)
Trade in early China originated in the seaports of the southeast part of the country, which explains the origins of the moneymaking power of the southeast. The symbolic and spiritual link between the southeast corner of your average home and the economic growth of an ancient country might prove a challenging logistical leap for the skeptics among us. But I ask you, skeptic, what have you got to lose by trying it?
