Art is very tricky because it’s what you do for yourself. It’s much harder for me to make those works than the monuments or the architecture. – Maya Lin
Being an artist can feel indulgent. And unless you have an ironclad confidence in yourself and your abilities, being an artist and a mother can lead to a fair share of guilt—colorful, soulful guilt, perhaps—but guilt nonetheless.
Whenever I work on a project that doesn’t have a clear monetary reward associated with it—such as research toward a book proposal or a personal essay—I feel a pang of guilt. If I’m not out earning a paycheck—one with benefits and a vacation plan—then I feel I should be doing laundry or wiping a runny nose. Mothers are supposed to contribute to the greater good of their children—whether the greater good is soccer practice, clean underwear, or a 401K. Mothers are also fundamentally pragmatic (come on, admit how many times you settled on the black t-shirt when you really wanted to wear the white blouse). But pragmatism is seldom associated with the creative spark.
The bottom line is that the state of the artist-mother can be oxymoronic. Think of women like Sylvia Plath and Zelda Fitzgerald: Might they have been better artists without their children, or better mothers without their art? Many mothers have tried to balance work, children and art, and unfortunately, we mostly hear of the ones who have failed. But recently, a friend recommended two sisters, Daphne and Warda Geismar, as examples of artist-mothers with the ability to successfully juggle all three. Both women have adopted daughters, and they both live in Connecticut. Both women’s decisions about their work stem from their desire to be as available to their daughters as possible. Daphne and Warda are active artists, and from my vantage point, they are exceptional mothers. But it hasn’t been easy for them. At the cross roads of pragmatism and creativity—things aren’t always so clear.
For the past year, Warda has been at home. She left her job teaching at an innovative art school in order to focus more on her sculpture, and to be around for Sophie, who is entering her teen years. Daphne works out of her home as a full-time book designer and project manager. Though creatively the job isn’t her first choice, the flexibility of her work allows her to spend time with her thirteen-year-old daughter Ana.
Daphne and Warda are extremely close and they rely on each other for parenting advice and creative feedback.
