It was two years ago when my positive energy field had been punctured with the negative actions of threat and intimidation by my employer. The actions were based on another employee’s statement that was not the truth, yet I was found guilty and persecuted even though the statements in my defense were the truth, there was no evidence that proved my claims to be facts.
The passion from deep within my soul was true and real it had been inside me for as long as I could remember. I belonged in the sky, it was my purpose. Regardless of the facts, my fate was in the hands of a group of people, called management. Their mentality was consumed with control, power and their tactics were through intimidation and threatening my job. The average age of these managers was thirty or younger. The consequences of the guilty verdict given, was six months probation and if there were no infractions it would be removed from my file.
The months that followed, I walked on egg shells. My confidence became fear; my daily duties were performed with caution, always looking around to see if someone was watching and if so, what would they report. Removing myself from the “Senior” position, I only worked the junior position with less responsibility. This was very difficult for me, as I knew my job, I was good at my job and I would find myself apologizing for the actions of one of my coworkers, as they did not have the passion for their position as I.
At the end of five months I was called for a “mandatory settlement meeting” to be held off the premises. I believed that this was it; I was going to be fired, never to return to the life of thirty years experience. Arriving at the meeting, with tape recorder in hand and a Union Rep along side of me, we entered the room for the meeting. When I notified management I would be recording the meeting, I was told that it was not that type of meeting needing to be recorded, as they themselves had not brought a stenographer, as it was not needed.
The manger proceeded to talk with me, telling me that she missed that bubbly personality that she had met four years earlier and that she wanted me to get that back. I replied that due the actions of the company in this matter they had busted my bubble and I no longer had respect for the company and did not wear my uniform with pride. In a patronizing tone, I was told to go to the dollar store and buy some bubbles in a bottle and that would help me get it back. In the next tone, she takes her finger and as she pulls her finger across the table, she says we are going to draw a line in the sand and everything on this side of the sand is blown away with the wind, it was gone and we start over with a clean slate.
The meeting comes to an end. I leave with the Union Rep, and he is saying that this is good, that I no longer had the threat of being fired in my file. I could put it all behind me. I asked, “how do I put the last five months behind me?”
The damage was done, they had stripped me of my passion and I tried for two years to gain that back, to accept the unprofessional-ism, to ignore their threats, to play their game and just do my job and not let it bother me. There were good days and bad days, The good days were experienced through those paths crossed, further affirming my reason for being there.
Two years passed with every day being an effort to have a positive state of mind, but they had positioned my being with their negative actions. With each day being an effort to go to work, the closer I got to it, the harder it seemed to be to breath, my chest felt tight, my shoulders felt as if they had pounds and pounds on them, making every step an effort.
